Here’s a new Case Study from a Rational Reader who wished to remain anonymous (because he lives in my home state among other reasons),…

So I recently started dating this woman I met online. For the last 2 months I would say we were “dating”

Some facts:
-She’s successful and she knows it. 25, bilingual, owns her own place, masters degree in engineering. You get the picture. A great catch.
-We have very similar backgrounds when it comes to family, values, etc. Both hispanic, raised overseas, strong family, etc.
-She’s cute although not hot. Looks, HB6, however I’m far more interested in her intellect and overall qualities than solely looks. I can actually admire her achievements and intellect.
-She’s conservative when approaching relationships. Takes it slow, claims she’s a virgin and she’s waiting for the right man. From any ol’ chick, I’d say bullshit. In this case though, her life is so well together and coherent throughout, that I’ll actually “buy it”
-Talked about past relationships and what happened, she claims it’s not easy to find guys that respect not going intimate. She also claims she’s picky and tends to put up a wall when meeting people.

SO- two breaks in between when she went home (out of state) from a school break. Since I met her, she’s been away probably 3 weeks combined. Else, we have hung out at least once a week. During those breaks, very little communication, maybe a call here or there, some texting.

When we are together, it’s good. Great chemistry, etc. Last time (Saturday) I picked her up from the airport, we went to her place, instead of going out we cooked dinner, went to starbucks, etc. Good stuff, great time. I respect her intimacy “rules” so I don’t even push on that front. Frankly, I’ve gotten laid enough. lol

ANYWAY. here’s the bottom line. Communication in between dates is very very limited and this is where I’m concerned. I don’t know if in past relationships I’ve gotten used to too much communication (calling every day or texting, etc) or if in this particular case communication is lagging.

For example this week: Saturday airport pick up, did stuff at her place. Sunday silence. Monday she called me after work. Tuesday silence. Wednesday I called her in the morning to “kick off” the day, left voicemail but never heard back. Text her inviting her for an after work drink but she had a thank you dinner to attend. C&F wishing her a wonderful date, got a two liner back, the rest of the afternoon and evening silence.

SO the big question becomes: Is this a test? Low Interest Level? Am I expecting too much communication too early? Did I get used to too much communication too early in the past?

How often do YOU communicate with your successful prospect? How often do you find that you communicate with your adult ‘mature” women?

Oh and to top it off, her aunt and grandmother are arriving tomorrow, so the weekend is basically off limits. In other words if no hang out today, I probably won’t see her until next week.

If you haven’t already, you’re about to be LJBFed. Would you like to know why? Because every word you’ve used to describe this woman, every reason you’ve given for qualifying her as “unique” and every indication you’ve presented about yourself points to you approaching any future relationship from a submissive frame.

Predictably, the first response most guys will want to pile on about is to tell you she’s messed up or break down her problems for avoiding you, but honestly, the answer is starring back at you in the bathroom mirror. You’re ‘dating’ a woman who was raised as a man.

First, why are you meeting women online? You’re 25, meeting women face to face, approaching them, interacting in person should be your first course of action. I’m sure you’ll just come back with the “It’s just easier / I’m too busy” line of horse shit, but at 25 your scenario here about “meeting” her online is nothing but a Buffer for you. Also, what do you think constitutes dating? You’re certainly not banging this girl, so how many ‘dates’ have you had?

-She’s successful and she knows it. 25, bilingual, owns her own place, masters degree in engineering. You get the picture. A great catch.

If I heard a woman say, “wow, he’s got his own place and a masters degree in engineering, what a great catch” I’d think they were gold diggers to some degree, but it wouldn’t be unexpected. Any guy using the term “great catch” about a woman in the same context reeks of Beta. Women use this term to describe men, Betas use it to describe women who they think would make a good husband for them – and no, that wasn’t a typo. That you’d use the term as you did here only screams “I’m a chump who buys into buys into feminized equalitarianism in an effort to seem more attractive acceptable to them.”

-She’s cute although not hot. Looks, HB6, however I’m far more interested in her intellect and overall qualities than solely looks. I can actually admire her achievements and intellect.

Chumps love to rationalize their “choice” of women and their less than ideal looks by emphasizing that “it’s what’s on the inside that’s really attractive.” Admiring achievements and intellect are criteria for women’s attraction to men. Parroting this feminized talking point back sounds like you’re taking some high road, but the degree on her wall doesn’t make her look any better naked. This is a very common AFC identification rationalization. Here’s a secret: even brainy women will only want to fuck when they feel sexy, and she’s fully aware that your hammering away about how her mind turns you on wont make an HB6 an HB10. You’re not fucking her mind.

-She’s conservative when approaching relationships. Takes it slow, claims she’s a virgin and she’s waiting for the right man. From any ol’ chick, I’d say bullshit. In this case though, her life is so well together and coherent throughout, that I’ll actually “buy it”

-Talked about past relationships and what happened, she claims it’s not easy to find guys that respect not going intimate. She also claims she’s picky and tends to put up a wall when meeting people.

So lets break this down; she’s 25, masters degree in engineering, owns her own home, etc. Now, maybe an engineer can qualify this for me, but if I’m not mistaken a Master’s degree in engineering is at minimum a 6-8 year life investment, meaning she’d have to have began on it at 18. How many “relationships” do you really think this virgin has had in those 6-8 years while earning a masters degree in a very intense field like engineering? How many valuable learning experiences do you think she’s had with “relationships”? An HB6 girl with a master’s and a house at 25, yeah, she’s a virgin, but not because she’s so conservative, well grounded or picky. You’re making her necessity a virtue because you think it’ll lead you into some fantasy relationship with her.

I respect her intimacy “rules” so I don’t even push on that front. Frankly, I’ve gotten laid enough. lol

Exactly the rationale I’ve come to expect from AFCs reasoning why they aren’t getting laid. Genuine desire is non-negotiable. It happens or it doesn’t. Desire is a spontaneous, chemical arousal between people, not a pre-written contract. By placing preconditions on what will or will not qualify for a woman’s intimacy, she essentially rules out any chance for genuine, organic desire. You’ve basically by-passed the arousal stages and moved directly into comfortable familiarity – you’re already living out the role of being a good homemaker for her in your head. Comfort, rapport, familiarity, are all anti-seductive. Sexual tension is uncomfortable; it’s supposed to be in order to prompt desire.

A “friends first” policy is a shit test. This is basically a woman wondering if you understand women well enough to know that what she really wants is the contrary of what she’s saying, and if you’re Alpha enough to act upon that understanding with confidence anyway. You’re not which is why you’re explaining it away. Any 25 y.o. guy saying he’s gotten laid enough is selling himself something.

Well, oneitis is an issue, however i’m also seeing other women. It’s just that this one is a Ferrari and the others are Cadillacs! hehe obviously i’m going to try a bit harder.

So, the brainy, home-owning, HB6 virgin with intimacy issues is a Ferrari to you? Call me crazy, but I DON’T think you’ve gotten laid nearly enough.