God do I love these girls.

I’ll just let the song do the work for me here, but I should point out that in girl-world, only women are allowed to be critical of other women when it comes to gender issues relating specifically to women. Whether it’s Garfunkle & Oats or Girl Writes What? only women are permitted to analyze and criticize the behaviors of the sisterhood.

Imagine the girl-world social repercussions of a man writing and singing this song from the male perspective.

We’ve been on a bunch of dates
I weigh debates that this creates
And hate that state of forced introspection
We traded wit, we swapped some spit,
You fingered me a little bit
But we never really had a connection

You did nothing wrong, I have no excuse
Just my intuition telling me we shouldn’t reproduce

I know I have to end it
But pretend to just suspend it
By contending that I’m busy all week
I let the foregone linger on
Text back with an emoticon
Withdraw from you by being oblique

Inside I know my tactics just delay it
But I’d do anything so I don’t have to say it

I’ll draw this out forever like it’s Vietnam
Then one day I’ll be gone like Bambi’s mom Awww

Cause there’s the right thing to do
Then there’s what I’m gonna do
There’s so much I should say
But instead… I do the fade away

Now I’m fading like chalk on a sidewalk
Or the polio virus after Jonas Salk
Like a Jewish guy at Arby’s on Yom Kippur
The Whig party post Millard Fillmore

The erection of a man on antidepressants
The cast of Diff’rent Strokes after adolescence
Reproductive rights below the Mason Dixon
Native Americans after the barter systems
Your thyroid gland after Hashimoto
The family in the Back to the Future photo
Yeah I fade away

We say that men are asshole who don’t communicate
We revel in our victimhood and amplify our hate
We find ways to be indignant like it’s a sport
Then dissect their malignance with the views we distort

The way men break up may be sloppy and terse
What they do is bad, but what we do is worse

We pretend to ourselves it’s the nice thing to do
To let you down gently by just not fucking telling you
And deep down we know it’s the worst way to play it
But we are what we have… huge pussies

And women are hypocrites
Especially ones in comedy bands
We see your faults but not our own
Then we wonder why we’re all alone

We fill you up with maybe’s, excuses and stalls
But like a baby in China… it’s better to have balls

Not the Good Wife type like Christine Baranski
So I’ll pull out and leave like I’m Roman Polanski

Cause there’s the right thing to do
Then there’s what I’m gonna do
There’s so much I should say
But instead… I do the fade away

Like Verbal Kint fading into Kaiser Soze
The rights in Arizona for a guy named Jose
Opportunities for a college grad
The love between your mom and dad
Gonna Peter out like a gay Cetera
Iranian relations since the Regan era
Black Nike sales after Heaven’s Gate
Summer Camp attendance at Penn State
The name Adolph after World War Two
Like Debbie Gibson’s pop career, Out of the Blue
Yeah I fade away

Cause I don’t wanna get to know you
I just want to blow you… off