addendum: Thanks for stopping!

Yes, this thing is huge. There was a lot of stuff so it needed a lot of words.
You can read the TL;DR if you’re in a rush, though I recommend going through the whole thing if you want an approximation of a full picture. I offered proof where I could, because she’s really good at taking advantage of a lack of it, and censored things that would likely lead to undue harm: here’s a link to the TL;DR post.

TL;DR

If you take my recommendation to opt against the TL;DR — yes, this is written almost entirely in shitty metaphors and bitter snark. It’s a post about an ex, and the tone reflects its intention as the starting post for forum threads entitled Cringe-Worthy Break Up Stories on Penny Arcade and Something Awful, because I figured it would be best to announce on friendly communities in innocuous ways. Penny Arcade and Something Awful deleted those threads, so now this blog stands alone. I will not take it down, because I know the information is important, even if what I have omitted means you never might.

And no, I never posted this to 4chan.

EDIT:

There was a typo up for a while that made it seem like Zoe and I were on break between March and June. This has apparently led some people to infer that her infidelity with Nathan Grayson began in early March. I want to clarify that I have no reason to believe or evidence to imply she was sleeping with him prior to late March or early April (though I believe they’d been friends for a while before that). This typo has since been corrected to make it clear we were on break between May and June. To be clear, if there was any conflict of interest between Zoe and Nathan regarding coverage of Depression Quest prior to April, I have no evidence to imply that it was sexual in nature.

Also, to make it clear that the logs aren’t doctored:

Anyway, for lack of a better phrase; enjoy I guess.