You wrote:

I stand conflicted here: my head is with restraint; my heart and my head are with equality.

I feel the same way, and my advice is — go with your heart. As a gay man of a certain age, my feeling that the California marriage decision will result in a backlash that will only set us back is eerily familiar. I remember feeling it when I first heard that some Massachusetts couples (against the wishes of gay organizations) filed suit to get married, I felt it again when the Supreme Court threw out the Texas sodomy law and when the Massachusetts Supreme Court ordered up gay marriage. In an election year, yet. In one sense, I was right to feel that way. The backlash against gay marriage in Massachusetts has resulted in constitutional bans in more than half the states.]]>