<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8" standalone="yes"?><oembed><version><![CDATA[1.0]]></version><provider_name><![CDATA[The Dish]]></provider_name><provider_url><![CDATA[http://dish.andrewsullivan.com]]></provider_url><author_name><![CDATA[Andrew Sullivan]]></author_name><author_url><![CDATA[https://dish.andrewsullivan.com/author/sullydish/]]></author_url><title><![CDATA[An Awesomely Bad&nbsp;Sentence]]></title><type><![CDATA[link]]></type><html><![CDATA[
<p>The <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulwer%E2%80%93Lytton_Fiction_Contest">Bulwer-Lytton award</a> is given annually for the worst first sentence of a novel. Contestants craft deliberately bad opening lines. Molly Ringle <a href="http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/">took</a> the 2010 prize with this gem: </p>
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<p>For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity’s affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss — a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity’s mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world’s thirstiest gerbil.</p>
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