<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8" standalone="yes"?><oembed><version><![CDATA[1.0]]></version><provider_name><![CDATA[The Dish]]></provider_name><provider_url><![CDATA[http://dish.andrewsullivan.com]]></provider_url><author_name><![CDATA[Andrew Sullivan]]></author_name><author_url><![CDATA[https://dish.andrewsullivan.com/author/sullydish/]]></author_url><title><![CDATA[Desperately Seeking Validation]]></title><type><![CDATA[link]]></type><html><![CDATA[
<p>Brian Jay Stanley <a href="http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/09/on-being-nothing/" target="_self">meditates</a> on the all-too-human desire for others&#39; approval:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>At every stage of life, we desire to be noticed and affirmed by others.  Infants are born craving affection as much as milk. Children playing do  not require the active involvement of nearby adults, but if you try to  leave they demand that you <em>watch </em>them play. Adolescents, in  their perpetual anxiety to be popular, do not so much look at others  through their own eyes as look constantly at themselves through others’  eyes. Those who are dying worry about being remembered after death,  though when dead, how can they care if they’re forgotten? As adults, our  successes give us little pleasure unless sweetened by others’  admiration.&#0160;</p>
</blockquote>
<p>He concludes:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Instead of pointlessly cursing the sun to go around me, my chance of  contentment is learning to orbit, being the world’s audience instead of  demanding the world be mine.</p>
</blockquote>
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