She was the woman who was standing under the streetlight with her dress pulled all the way up over her knees, and now she says, ‘I’m a nun,’ when it comes to this spying! … I mean, maybe that’s the wrong metaphor—but she was all in!

And he has a genuinely new theory to explain the implosion of Eric Cantor:

Don’t hold this against me, but I’m going to blurt it out. How do I say this … men in the South, they are a little effeminate … They just have effeminate mannerisms. If you were just a regular person, you turned on the TV, and you saw Eric Cantor talking, I would say—and I’m fine with gay people, that’s all right—but my gaydar is 60-70 percent. But he’s not, I think, so I don’t know. Again, I couldn’t care less. I’m accepting.

Next!

(But let’s keep him in the primaries. I miss Gravel.)