I love the romance and the idea and history behind the holiday, don’t get me wrong. But the commercialism makes me all stabby while pukey. I have written posts in the past to help y’all with gift ideas for your beloved. Some have been obvious (my go-to Lolita glass of the week) and some have been a bit….. odd (Zen perfume made from roses grown outside our atmosphere). So here is my list for no-fail gifts this Valentine’s Day.

#5– Electric drill

Honestly, most women would like to own one just so they could put up their own wall decor and also have a handy tool for those times when you need to be….persuasive.

#4– Santoku knife

Who doesn’t want a knife??

#3– Ear plugs

For those times when you finally run out of patience with questions, be it from kids, or coworkers.

#2– Car wash pass

Show her you love her enough to worry about her manicure, or at least worry what the neighbor’s think of her vehicular trash can.

#1– Personal vacation

Sending your beloved somewhere on his or her own is a great way to show them that you love them. Why? Because your beloved needs time away from you before that electric drill becomes necessary. News at 11.

So there you go. A list of awesome gifts for your sweetheart. I have three santoku knives, several pairs of ear plugs, and I am angling for the drill next. Also, I am not responsible for any reaction you may get from your beloved if you choose to heed my advice. As usual, my advice is unsolicited and should always fall on deaf ears, especially those ears with ear plugs. But should you feel the need to give a safer, more conventional gift, roses are always a wonderful idea.

So the florist tells me 😉