Aw.

It was a really charming event, perhaps the loveliest wedding I’ve ever been to, and VERY Helen and Martin. They were super-relaxed – greeting guests as we arrived at the service, rather than making a grand entrance, and cracking jokes throughout – and the grub was a slap-up home-made afternoon tea, washed down with a LOT of pink champagne (they’re not drinkers). Oh, and a fish and chip van at 11pm. And a cheeseboard. Awesome.

The ceremony was al fresco, in a beautiful park in Kent (alongside a craft fair and fete – and even a meet-and-greet with celebrity porkchop PEPPA PIG!), but luckily the rain held back for the ceremony, despite hilarious and dramatic thunderclaps as the happy couple made their way down the aisle. Well, if you are going to have a resolutely secular wedding at Easter time, God will make His feelings known…

Back at the Zaltzman family pile, there were cracking tributes by various folks including friends-of-the-podcast Alex Thomas and Andy Zaltzman, but, it must be said, Helen and Martin’s dads pulled off the funniest speeches of the night.

Helen and Martin are now on honeymoon somewhere in the States, no doubt listening to discordantly intellectual audiobooks as they speed down the highway, stopping frequently to photograph funny road signs, or further snapshots of Martin sucking yet another ice lolly that looks a bit like a penis. They claim not to yet know what their new surname will be, but for me – as for all true AMT! fans – they will be Forever Zaltzwick.

Well done, chaps.

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