I love the response my gifts ellicit!

I’m packing up my bitterness in a suitcase and flying off to someplace a little sunnier.  As my parting gift to both of my loyal followers, and coal for those that don’t read all the time, or don’t enjoy reading it, I am leaving you with one last blog before I do my next blog post, which could be tommorow, or it could be New Years.  You never know, because I am crazy like that.

Though I do enjoy the occasional sunlight (despite what many of you think, all of us in Seattle aren’t sparkly vampires)  and not working for 11 days makes me smile(a bitter smile however) leaving also makes me bitter.  As a person of laziness, some vacations like this make you work.  First, you have to pack things, for seven days.  When I wake up in the morning, I have no idea what I am going to wear.  Why would my vacation expect me to now know what the heck to pack for seven days?  I think seven pairs of underwear are required, but as for the rest?  Do I wear shirts or do I wear sweatshirts?  Shorts or pants?  All these decisions are making my head spin!

This is the short trip from Alaska to Russia. Lot better than the walk to Orlando.

Then there is getting there.  Orlando is a long ways away.  I suppose I could walk there, but I am not particulary fond of walking.  I mean it is so exhausting walking from my chair at home to the kitchen.  Why would I want to transition from that to a 3000 mile jaunt across the country?  I think it would be easier to walk to Russia.  Don’t they have some bridge in Alaska that goes there? I suppose we could drive, but that is exhausting too.  I mean that is a lot of work putting your foot on a gas pedal for that long.  And from what I have heard it takes over a whole day to drive 3000 miles!  What a waste!  I think it is time for car to be able to drive the speed of light so we can get places faster.  Don’t you think that would be safer?  Less driver fatigue.  And as you have seen in a previous post, airplanes make me bitter.  Enough said.

Then there is the issue of food.  I don’t know about you, but when I am doing something fun or anything for that matter, I want to keep doing it.  But for some reason, I have to stop in the middle of things and eat something.  Why is eating always interupting?  It is so rude!  Do I come to dinner and interupt it with television? Yes, I do.  But I at least ask nicely before I so rudely interupt it.  For some reason, amusement parks such as Disney or Universal charge different amounts of money than they do in my grocery store.  In fact, I have never seen an episode of Extreme Coupon at Disneyland.  Don’t they want some publicity for this little known amusement park?  Coupons would definitely help.

Disney needs to allow more of this.  You know, coupon diving.

As I mentioned before, Disney doesn’t provide any transportation at the park.  No hover boards, no Segways, not even skateboards.  They expect you to walk.  I thought we went over this, Disney.  Me, chair, kitchen, too far.  Why would I want to walk the equivelant of a supermarathon over 5 days?  Get me a tram and let’s get this amusement over with!  So in short, I hope that everyone else has a good week doing what everyone seems to be celebrating.   I’ve seen lots of lights and the malls seem to be on the busier side.  Not sure what all the hype is about, but whatever it is I hope you enjoy it while I get some sun or something.

At least Disney could have these for Tommorowland. It’s not 2015 yet, but they should be standard by then right? You’ve got three years Disney…

Arrgghhh

Bitter Ben