It’s national get back that jerk at work day.  I’m not sure if that is true, but we are celebrating that on a local level and by local level, I mean on my level.  And by jerk at work, I mean whatever jerk you want to find to get back at.  If nothing else, you can find someone who is acting snotty, or cocky, or snooty, or lame, or whiny and make them pay.  Revenge is a dish best served cold, but maybe it being served way too hot could burn the roof of their mouth and that could be just as bad.  So Revengerman your way to the weekend, but there’s nothing better than being bitter.

Let’s teach these humans that without their sunglasses…

…their automatically turn into vampires…

Let’s curse them…

…until they forget how to drink milk.

Don’t you dare mess with exercise…

…or we’ll shoot you down. (Mentally too.)

You think you are going to shovel the snow…

…think again.

On the other hand…

…looks like you scored the winning goal.

And guys just stop talking…

…cause women will get their revenge.

And quit driving so slow in the fast lane…

…or this is gonna happen. 

And then the commute…

…is gonna go downhill from there. 

And don’t mess with the animals…

…cause they will mess right back.

And remember they don’t say it’s the easiest thing since sliced bread…

…it’s the bitterest thing. 

Hey and good job on that last play…

…and I’m really sorry about this…so sorry.

Don’t worry…

…I’ll let it slide this time.

And remember to look forward in white hot anticipation to my inaugural edition of Bitter News from the Couch coming on Sunday Morning.  If you haven’t seen the teaser for it, check it out right here.  If you have, view it again so you can remember why you are jonesing so hard for it in the first place.  Either way, you can get payback by watching it so many times it goes viral and I’m thrust into the spotlight, which I of course hate.

ARRRRRGGGHHHH

Bitter Payback Gifture Friday Ben