I’m no an Anti-Dentite(yes Jerry, I’m bringing it back) but I just paid a visit to my dentist and his crew on Wednesday.  And these guys and girls were all swagging around the DO (Dentist’s Office) like they owned the place (they really only own part of the place).  These guys and girls think they are the baddest administrators of pain on the planet. And they may intimidate kids with their drills and their floss and their water sucking thingys, but I was not intimidated at all.  “Oooh your going to give me some xrays?  I’m so scared.  In fact, why don’t you leave the chest plate protector off this time.  Like I’m afraid of a little radiation.”  They were all like, “We’re gonna give you some numbing for the pain of the drilling of these cavities”, and I’m like, “I don’t need drugs, drill on my teeth for two hours with your little bunny needles and kitty drills.  I’m not afraid of your little Dentite ways.”  And they were like “We’re going to floss your teeth and put some fluoride on it.” And I’m like, “OOOOh, I’m so scared.” and they were like, “Actually this shouldn’t hurt.” and I’m like “Exactly.”

The dentites”claim” they read my blog.  Well, Dentites, it’s time to put your money where your perfectly teethed mouths are.  I’m going to show you some gifs about how your crew operate over there and I want to see some commentage in the section below.  Otherwise, I don’t believe you are the baddest Dentists, Dental Assistants, Dental Hygienists, Scheduling Coordinators, and Financial Coordinators  of pain that you claim you are.

In the meantime, let’s show you how they work…

First thing they do….

…is welcome you to their incredible parking area.

Next...

…they provide a convenient way up to their 4th floor facility. 

Then, they set you up…

…in a comfortable position in their waiting room while they are in a 2 hour meeting.

After waiting in the waiting room for a while..

…they ask you to trust them and come on forward, I mean back, yeah back!

And then they are like….

…wait, wait, wait,  never mind, we’re not quite ready for you.

Finally, they say they are ready for you…

…and they set you up in a really comfortable chair.

Next, they put a drill in your mouth and then start asking questions…

…and you’re like….

Then, they ask…

…would you like any anesthesia? 

And then….

…they start excavating…

And just when my jaw has opened 180 degrees…

…can you open a little wider please?

And then the dentist….

…steps out of his office…

and asks, “Are you feeling any pain?…

….and I’m like noooooo…uhhhhh…I’m fine….

And on the way out they hand you your bill…

…and I’m like…Gotta Go…

All the work these guys go to and still, I’m like, “So when do we get started? Oh, you’re finished? Geez, I was just getting warmed up! Well I guess if you wimps are done, you’ll need a week to recover? What, six months? Wow, I just don’t see why people are afraid of you….”

See you in six months, Dentites….

Bitter Dental Ben