Just when you thought Dancing with the Stars was running out of low level”talent” for their popular show, they resurrected themselves by finding and even less talented pool of people to mine new dancers from. They decided to spin off the show and call it Dancing with the Comets. Comets are people so barely on the radar of TV that they may have been on a commercial once “in the background”, or an extra in a movie, a peripheral character in a You Tube video, or a 15th man on an NBDL basketball team. You may have accidentally been on camera more than these folks. Please put your hands together once and make a sarcastic clap for the newest dancers on the BEN Network. Welcome Dancing with the Comets!

Our first contestant is the guy….

…who kind of looks like Drake, but is not at all him dressed up as some nerdy guy. 

And our guest judge Adam Levine says…

…Sup? 

Next on the docket we have...

…another guy that looks like Drake and some rando that looks like John Travolta.

Survey says…

Ohhhhh…looks like they would rather commit napicide than watch you dance anymore. 

Our next person with barely any light in their eyes(cause you can’t even see them)…

…is this guy performing the “just sit there”.

Judges?….

…give you a No out of 10. 

And what disaster will the universe provide us next…

…this guy, doing the ice cream samba next to his mama. 

Judges, can I have you final answer…

…and it’s a finger telling us that she has lost her voice, or that she become a wiper blade on a car, I’m not sure which. 

And the next contestant on the Dance is Wrong Is…

…M!!! Show us what you don’t have! 

Judge Judies, can you tell us what your decision is…

…and it’s three sarcastic perfect thumbs up from our judge! 

And our last dancer on This Show is Really Dumb… 

…is a couple performing the Throw and Ditch Dance. 

Judge can you give a score for these two?…

…oooh and it becomes all about the judge and not the dancing. Well, they slowly back away…

Well, I’m afraid that is all the time we have for this wreck of a show. Mostly because there is a real comet heading directly toward the studio…Um, I really don’t have time to talk anymore. Well, I do have a moment more because we aren’t going anywhere. So my last word of bitter wisdom to you is…

ARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH

Bitter Dancing with the Comets Ben