I feel like I failed you this week. Not only have I done almost no posting, but I also did a super serious one that hardly contained any bitterness other than to be bitter about younger people than me, trying to teach me something. I don’t know if it was opposite day, or I was just having some sort of crazy dream that caused me to go a little mad, but I apologize for the seriously terrible post that was. I hope it never happens again. I took a huge gamble doing that, and it failed in spades. That’s what happens when you roll the dice, or make a decision. Remind me never to make any decisions ever again. And don’t ever believe what Vegas tells you. What happens in Vegas doesn’t stay there, it comes back to haunt you. Like these giftures that rolled the dice way too hard.

Sometimes when you are dog tired…

…you have to hope it isn’t a cat-astrophe.

When you kickoff the weekend…

…hope things don’t explode in your face.

You better hope…

…that lightening strikes in the same place twice.

No matter what…

…when you are hungry, there is never enough…

But when you are stuffed…

…someone invites you over for a small meal.

Do you…

…see what I mean?

If you can’t see what I mean…

…don’t jump to any conclusions.

Just turn around…

…and don’t let your mind race too fast.

Or you mind might become…

…a train wreck. 

But don’t be afraid…

…it’s Friday night and you just got paid. And you’re a good old boy, that doesn’t mean any harm.

So before you…

…take off too early…

Make sure you find a nice place…

…where you can party like a rock star…or a former NFL quarterback.

Clearly, this will not make up for the sheer lack of bitter content this week, but then again, I was plenty bitter about a lot of stuff this week and you should have read my mind, Monica the Medium’s. You’re supposed to know all this stuff. Why is it that I have to spell it out for all of you all the time? Does it look like I’m a blogger or something? Why can’t I be the lazy one for once?

ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter Roll the Dice Ben