It’s the end of interest, that is for sure.

I remember when I was a kid and my dad helped me sign up for my first checking account. After doing my favorite thing ever, looking for a job, and going through dozens of job applications, I finally got my dream job of flattening dough at Little Caesar’s Pizza. Not only did I get to flatten dough, but I got to earn some. I recall getting the minimum wage, which I think was like $2.15 an hour. And now people are complaining about needing $15 an hour as minimum in Seattle.

Anyways, my dad told me that I needed to start saving some of that stuff. So he co-signed or whatever and I put my 5 hours of work into the checking account ($10) and I was off to the races. I remember thinking that I was going to start saving up for a Black Hills Gold ring, because I was from South Dakota and they were made there in the state.

I remember my dad telling me to leave my money in the bank because it could gain interest. What was interest? Well, that bank adds a little percentage of the money in the bank to your account. I was like okay, cool. How much? Well, for a checking account you get like 3% and for a savings like 4%. Awesome. For a dude that had so little in his account seemed like a lot.

I haven’t handled the finances for some time now. In my late 20’s I was busy using my overdraft protection and barely holding on for dear life. Then I got married and my wife saw how terrible I was a recording things and remember to pay bills, etc, so she took over.

We had our home free and clear in Seattle and we sold it to move here. So we had 6 figures in the bank. I was pretty excited about that because of all the interest we would be getting to keep it there. Then I asked my wife how much interest we were getting. Surely it would be way high because of the money right? 5%? 6%? Nope.

This is how small interest is now.

Try .05%. What happened? Was I just delusional when I was a kid? Was I just imagining that we got that much? Or did I just hear wrong that banks aren’t offering interest anymore? Or are banks just not interested in us at all? They don’t care if we put money in their bank or not?

I might as well get this all in cash and hide it under my mattress.

Seriously, I just need a safe.

ARRRRRRGGGGHHHH

Bitter Money Hungry Ben