I was born in Southern California close to a tiny town called Los Angeles and lived there for 6 years during, you know, my formative years. Then we moved to the New York area, an even smaller podunk town called NYC. Luckily, we got out of those lands of opportunity and moved to South Dakota, a thriving Metropolis. We needed to book Superman full time hours, just to keep all the tractors, pigs and chickens safe. The most important thing was the corn though. If it wasn’t for the corn, or maize as the insiders like me like to call it, how would we ever have popcorn, Corn Flakes, or my personal favorite, high fructose corn syrup. If it wasn’t for that, most of my junk foods wouldn’t exist. Speaking of ceasing to exist, I’m sure this blog would cease to exist if it wasn’ t for Bitter Friday Giftures, hanging it by a thread. With that, let’s get to it.

The best way to learn how to fly…

…is to annoy the heck out of your brother.

Some people…

…get a little nervous around stars of the Lion King.

Apparently we need to start teaching…

…babies how to do things.

This kid really needs to…

…step up his defense.

This girl thought the water…

…was too watered down.

This kid was…

…kind of a drag.

This guy…

…was a real pane in the glass.

I guess this guy is…

…in charge of running the place.

This girl was trying out…

…her pair of New Balances.

This girl need to be better…

…at sticking to it.

This girl needs to…

…go back to the basics.

One was trying to Trump the other…

…but got epic Bern..ied.

Alright, I know this post was kind of corny, but that’s what I am used to producing in the State of South Dakota. And also my State of Bitterness. By the way, may your 2018 be as bitter as your 2017.

ARRGGGHHHHHHHH

Bitter Corn Fed Ben