There have been reports of this movie The Greatest Show on Earth, actually being the greatest show on earth. I have some words to say about that. Namely, that it isn’t true. How in the world can it be the greatest show on earth when there is no falling, no tripping, no falling backward, running into walls or even accidents? That isn’t real life. Real life is messy, angry, bitter and just like Gifs mistakes happen over and over again. So here is the real greatest show on earth.

Here is a real superhero…

…one that has a weakness of walls.

One that can fall over exercise balls…

…in zero bounds.

One that knows how to give up…

…at the earliest sign of trouble.

One that misreads signals…

…all around him.

One that can elude the cops for days…

…but can be taken down by a simple metal door.

One that is so strong…

…that only gravity can take her down.

One that can gracefully fly…

…right into the concrete.

One that look danger in the eye…

…unless danger looks back.

One that can perform impressive feats…

…then get taken down by a plastic ball. 

One that can fail so bad…

…that they have to hide in the bushes.  

A man whose proposal can…

…make a girl disappear.

Most importantly a man with balloons, eggs and fire…

…can take down a whole household.

The greatest show on earth should have you cringing and wishing you weren’t them, but knowing deep down that if a camera was on you all the time, your life would make at least one big Friday Gifture post.

ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH

Bitterest Show on Earth Ben