I am trying to think of a theme for my Bitter Friday Giftures, but right now all I can think about is the Avenger’s Endgame. I am not going to be able to see it this weekend, because of things, but I know that most people will. That is about a billion people I have to avoid because they will all spoil it for me. Don’t even say that you won’t ruin it for me either, because I can read people’s faces. Which is kind of weird, because I barely read anything else. Thankfully, my goal in life is to avoid others, so this shouldn’t be too hard. I intend to see it on Tuesday, so if I run into you and you’ve seen it, please don’t let me see your face. How about we use Bitter Friday Giftures to give you some advice on how to avoid spoilers…

Someone thinks…

…they are pretty cool knowing how the movie will end.

Slight interruption…

…can Black Panther be the HR department I’m dealing with?

Yeah I know…

…I hate when people ruin shows for you.

So make sure…

…you stay hydrated…

Get enough…

…corn nutrients…

Don’t eat any…

…soy…

Or drink any…

…drugs.

Make sure you get plenty of…

…exercise.

Make sure you get large amounts..

…of Vitamin D.

Make sure you…

…breathe every once in a while.

Make sure to…

…walk it off..

And make sure to get…

…15-20 hours of sleep every night.

Well, that is all the advice I can think of. Hopefully, you guys can use some of this advice to avoid spoilers for the movie. I think I just might try to go deaf for a week. That sounds like a great plan.

ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH

Bitter Avenge a Spoiler Ben

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