People have been trying to teach me a lot of stuff lately. Obviously when you start a new job, they have to teach you the ways of the Jedi, and or, the ways the company work and what you are supposed to do every day.

The other day, my wife was telling me that she had to train me on how to pay bills, where account numbers are, where kids social security numbers are etc. I was like, don’t make me do that please, I’ve really enjoyed my 19 year time off from having to think about those things. Anyways, my mom asked me something the other day and asked if it was crystal clear.

Of course, being a guy that is a little slow on the uptick, I said, not really, it’s kind of crystal cloudy. That is when thing are less than crystal clear, ie, all this explanation to you about Bitter Friday Giftures. Hopefully, you all just skipped the intro and went straight to the Giftures:

Okay, lettuce…

…talk about this for a minute.

I mean…

…water we all doing here?

It is time…

…to get down to business.

I see a lot of…

…Stark contrasts here.

Let’s be honest…

…some people just need to be unleashed.

Some people or superpeople…

…are just too good for the rest of us.

Some people live for the week…

…while others live for the weekend.

Other people…well…

…have no idea what day it is.

Some people do a lot of work…

…while others have work done for them.

While others like me…

…just like to sleep on the job.

Some people think they got it all handled…

…until they realize they don’t.

Do you know what is Crystal Cloudy…

…not this stuff.

Whatever you do this weekend, or other days of the week, just make sure you let people know that whatever they are saying to you is crystal cloudy. Then they will have to explain things to you again, or think that they aren’t training you right. Either way, you get them to be crystal cloudy and that is a great way to confuse people, and great way to start a day.

ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH

Bitter Crystal Cloudy Ben