Many people talk about their dreams coming true. Someone just got their dream job. Another met their dream man or woman. Someone else is going on a dream vacation. On the other hand, I do all those things. Except then I wake up. Most of the time, life is a bunch of days that look alike. You get up, go to work, or look for work, come home, eat dinner, sleep for several hours. When they say it is the grind, they aren’t kidding. And once a week, there is a bunch of bitter Giftures whether you asked for them or not. So if these gifs are your dream, then you are in luck. For everyone else it is just another part of the grind that happens every single Friday. At least it is consistent. So here we go with another edition of Bitter Friday Giftures.

Did somebody just get shades of…

…two different movies out this fall? 

If only my dreams were…

…more food-related. 

This is a more realistic view…

…of what happens to my dreams. 

Unfortunately, this is pretty close to the…

…dreams I have now. 

This is not what I mean…

…about following your dreams. 

Leering at your dreams…

…is also not an acceptable practice. 

You better be careful not to follow your dreams too closely…

…or you might end up with a restraining order.

Don’t follow your dream too closely…

…or you might end up colliding with the dreamer ahead of you.

When it comes to dreams aim low…

…like looking like James Harden when you walk backward.

Don’t aim too low though…

…because you might actually hit your target.

Definitely don’t aim too high…

…especially if you are afraid of heights.

Just be mediocre in everything you do…

…so you never stand out at all.

There you go, bitter dreamers. Don’t aim too high, or too low, definitely don’t dream big and don’t stalk your dreams as there may be a restraining order against you. Is that enough advice for you? Can you now just let me be so I can go spread the mediocre and bitter news somewhere else? What are your thoughts on dreams? Have you ever achieved one? I’m still waiting on realizing my first.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter Dreams Not Coming True Ben