My wife and I talk about the debate between nature vs. nurture a lot. Probably because we have one child that is biological and one who is adopted. Why do some personality things seem to pass down because of what our kids are around and what comes from their parent’s direct DNA? Our kids are literally black and white and figuratively night and day. They are so polar opposite that it’s almost comical.

Child #1                                                                     Child #2

Girl                                                                                Boy

White                                                                           Brown

Introvert                                                                     Extravert

Quiet                                                                              Loud

Conservative/saver of money                        Wants everything always immediately

Loves drama/performing/drawing/creative    Loves basketball/sports/war/guns

I say all this because when I was in high school, I was in sports and was athletic and had no interest in drama, and couldn’t memorize something to save my life and couldn’t draw a stick figure without tracing it.

My daughter just performed in a play. Even though she is pretty shy and introverted and not very dramatic at home, she somehow loves drama in school, memorizes lines likety-split and can draw like the wind (don’t you see wind drawing all the time?).

Where does she get that from? Neither her mom or I have any talent in drama or drawing. The only drama our son has is in his drama king ways around the house and with all his friends. Enough about me, my son and my daughter. Let’s just get to the Bitter Friday Giftures in dramatic fashion, shall we?

I don’t mean to be dramatic…

…but I love you too Cookies and Cream Twix.

Geeze…

…no need to overreact.

What the heck…

…did your hair ever do to you?

In the words of Taylor Swift…

…you’re being too loud, you need to calm down.

Wow, Laura…

…you might just be the first that’s ever loved all her friends.

Oh, Oprah…

…do you even know what Twitter is, except for what your Social Media Manager posts for you?

Just because your dad paid your way through ninth grade…

…doesn’t mean you need to get all huffy, Lauren.

I need a few more moments to deal…

…with you, drama queen.

Sorry, you didn’t…

…get your fourth Ferrari for your birthday, Karen.

l know you’ve been too busy pretending to be a lawyer…

…to play in your pool, Kim.

Sorry, your Instagram cameraperson…

…is late for your fake crying session, Beyonce.

Sorry, you didn’t get an Oscar…

…for your fake cry, Rihanna.

Well, that’s enough drama for me for one year.  I think I will just go hide out in my basement until the COVID-19 infects all the awful celebrities and politicians and I can come out with some cleaner air after their pollution finally goes away. Have a sunnier day!

ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH

Bitter Drama Free Ben