I don’t know about you, but month after month, I keep having to pay money just to live. Like in order to live in this house, I gotta give somebody money. In order to get heat, or air, I gotta pay some money. In order to write these Bitter Friday Giftures, I have to pay WordPress, and the internet and the electricity and what else? Oh yeah, I had to pay for this computer. And every month, this Bill guy seems to get all this money.

I don’t know about you, but I kind of wish I changed by name because every month, every pays their own Bills. Maybe that is why Bill Gates gets all the money. Anyways, maybe we should just switch it up, think outside the box and start paying our Ben’s instead. Anyone with me? Raise of hands? Come on guys, a little support here?

If nothing else, we at least have our Bitter Friday Giftures…

I agree and for that…

…you should have to pay your Ben’s.

Except Danny Devito…

…you spelled Ben wrong.

Guys, come on, get back to work…

…you’ve got Ben’s to pay.

This kid knows what I’m talking about…

…he’s trying to make the money so he can pay his Ben’s.

These guys and girls are all working it…

…cause they need some Benjamin’s to pay their Ben’s.

Time to stop paying your Bill…

…Nye’s and start paying you Ben…Bitters.

Stop paying your Bill…

…Clinton’s and start paying your Bitter Bens.

Stop paying your Bill…

…ie Ellish’s and start paying your Ben eyelashes.

Yes, you can invest your hard-earned money…

…in the lottery, but that won’t pay the Bens.

I know it is tempting to be lazy…

…but that won’t help you pay the Bens.

Rise and shine sleepyheads…

…cause if you don’t, you won’t be able to pay your Bens.

This is what I expect…

…my Ben account to look like soon.

Now that we’ve established how the economy is going to work…for me, let’s start getting back to work! Those Ben’s aren’t going to pay themselves. Come on now! I hope you’ve enjoyed my TED Talk. Thank you.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH

Bitter Pay Your Bens Ben