did i plan to make brownies today? not at all.

did i plan to make brownies two hours ago? still no.

i was browsing some or other thing on the internetwebs and i came upon a link claiming to make brownies that will cut the calories in half. so i thought that looks cool let me go and see. hey we have all or most of those ingredients, let’s do this.

and by ‘this’ i mean ‘this.’

IF YOU ARE A BACHELOR AND YOU SAY YOU CAN’T COOK, YOU ARE LYING.

Now this refers to the ladies as well [so please feel ‘understood’ in there and also to married people [don’t feel left out] but the main focus of this rant, post, scream is at dudes who are living alone or in digs [or still with your parents – nothing wrong with that, sometimes it’s just what circumstances call for] who exist on take out food or some form of spread on toast and use the ‘I can’t cook’ slogan as a crutch.

Yes, you can! Don’t make me go all Mark Driscoll on y’all. [i acknowledge that i just typed the “word” ‘y’all’ – i’m gonna claim poetic licence.

And i mean you can, don’t get me wrong. This is not a ‘THOU SHALT’ post by any means, but much more of a ‘YOU REALLY DON’T HAVE TO SETTLE FOR’ one and it goes a little something like this:

IF YOU HAVE A STOVE AND ACCESS TO THE INTERNET, YOU CAN COOK

The stove is probably not even mandatory [at least one of those two plate mini vibes will be a good start though] but it helps.

So I start making the brownies and realise that I misread ‘vegetable oil spread’ as ‘vegetable oil’ – now we have vegetable oil, but no vegetable oil spread – what even is that? it sounds hideous and i’m scared to even ask. Oh no, panic time? Not at all – head onto the interwebnet and ask my good old sous chef, Uncle Goodle by typing in “vegetable oil spread” so i can have some idea of what it is, and then “Vegetable oil spread substitute” so i can know what else i can use in its place that will have the same effect. Turns out melted butter is an adequate substitute on most cases and so i strongly suspect i may have invited a couple of those calories back to the party, but problem solved and in no time the brownies are in the over. [“in no time” was a metaphor – it took time, no magic was conjured up in the making of these brownies and MAN, THERE IS AN AMAZING SMELL COMING OUT OF OUR KITCHEN!

It is really that simple – if you have not cooked a lot in your life then start simply – do something with an egg – work your way up to french toast – make homemade flapjacks or pancakes and you will be experimenting with meat, vegetables and baked goods in no time. Start by getting over the mindset of ‘I can’t cook’ and you will be amazed at just how simple so much of this stuff is.

But you can find recipes for anything online – you can find simple and complicated recipes, there are programs where you enter in all the ingredients you have in the house and it throws out a couple of recipe options for you. The internetwebs has made cooking incredibly simple.

One thing Val and i recently started was the challenge of cooking one new meal a month each and so that has helped us to try things we’ve always wanted to make or even new things we haven’t even heard of. It has encouraged us to take on ethnic foods from other countries. I cooked my first ever fish the other day [fish fingers apparently don’t count] and the Tilapia was pretty amazing… excuse me for one second, have to go and pull some BROWNIES I JUST BAKED out of the oven [fork in and out with no stickiness on it and they are ready, and smelling really good!]

It is very easy to get caught up in what you are used to. And so, especially maybe as a guy living by yourself, it becomes take out and cereal and bread and beans, but the point i am trying to make here is that THERE IS SO MUCH MORE.  And the exciting thing is that like arrows in a quiver [not a metaphor, i’m talking actual arrows that bow-and-arrow-using people stick in actual quivers] once you know how to make something new, you have it for life.

And if you try something and it doesn’t work… IT DOESN’T MATTER… McDonald’s will still be around the corner – go and drown your sorrows in a McBaconburger and fries and try again tomorrow. Make good use of the internet. Invite a friend around and get them to show you how they make one of their favourite meals. One of my favourite meals is Shepherd’s pie and it’s s easy to make and so now it’s not just that great meal my mom makes for me on my birthday [yes, i like it that much!] it is now something both Val and i have made. And we can add our own unique twists to it. And it becomes our dish. Into the quiver you go.

i think i may have some more to say on this some day soon, but for now single man [hoping to get married one day and that your wife will magically just make all of the food?] take hold of the YES, YOU CAN! 

…and come back here when you’ve tried something, and let me know how it went… as for me, i’ve got some brownies to cut into squares and a wife to wake up and test them on…