and sit on the top step in front of my apartment
and look around…
taking in the sights
listening to the noise
a family preparing for a celebration across the street
the sound of a car backfiring, further down the road
a laugh, an ambulance siren, a child’s excited scream, the sound of two cats fighting, the music starting up
and all seems normal
this all feels right and good
i pause and take it all in…
[time passes]
i move indoors
and sit in front of my laptop computer
and look around…
taking in the tweets
listening amidst the noise
and somehow stumble upon a hashtag
that might appear like any other hashtag
but somehow does not
a community trying desperately to rise above the silence and find and use their voices to start sharing their stories #YesAllWomen
a community responding with defensiveness, parody and even outright aggression #YesAllMen
a community for the most part meaning well but demonstrating a complete missing of the point #YesAllPeople
“Because I get more hate and looks for wearing shorts than men get from each other for sexual assault.” #YesAllWomen
“Handyman came to house to fix a door. 50% of my brain was on escape plan if he tried to attack me.” #YesAllWomen
“When a man says no in this culture, it’s the end of a discussion. When a woman says no, it’s the beginning of a negotiation.” #YesAllWomen
“Because when star high school athletes rape a teenage girl, the headline is about their ruined careers and not her messed up life.” #YesAllWomen
“Because what men fear most about going to prison is what women fear most about walking down the sidewalk.” #YesAllWomen
as i read and i read and try to make sense of it all
the list just seems to go on and on and on
this all seems like it is their normal
and there is nothing good and right about this
i pause and try to take it all in
[days pass]
here i am once more
i sit in a state of deep thought and confusion and sadness
and look inside…
taking in the search
listening for a sound
a sound of hope
a whisper of change
the hint of possibility
sign of a better thing to come
but still the melody plays on…
for all the nights I’ve walked home with my keys poking out of my knuckles #YesAllWomen
for the meaningless goodbye call of ‘Text me when you arrive there #YesAllWomen
for the fear she has when she is the only other person in the elevator even though he is in uniform #YesAllWomen
for the need she feels to quicken her pace when she realises the person walking behind her is a man #YesAllWomen
For every single female friend and relative of mine who has been abused or threatened in any way #YesAllWomen
For every lewd suggestionand comment my wife had to listen to on the way to work any time she walked by herself #YesAllWomen
For the time my wife had to beg two guys sitting in their car to get out and help her when he was harrassing her on the street #YesAllWomen
For every cringeworthy male and female response i have been unfortunate to read this last week by those who don’t ‘get’ it #YesAllWomen
[more time]
once more, here i am
i am a man
i feel the legacy of a system i have in part inherited
i sense the responsibility i have to shape, fashion and change what i witness around me
but also the importance of me not leading the struggle or revolution
for that requires a woman’s voice
that cries out for women’s voices
but perhaps i can in part show support
in part do my best to draw attention to the importance of this conversation
in part try my best to call for some measure of quiet among the frenzy of messed up misunderstanding and oppositional blabber
i can model and speak up and challenge and inspire and refuse to be drawn in and help and walk away from and intervene
and i can write and point and show and tell and hope and pray and teach and sing
and i can be. and be well.
and until, collectively, we can figure out what do to
how to move forward
how to see this change in action
until such a time…
together we can hold hands and walk tall and cheer each other on
looking forward together
towards a new normal
one that feels right and good
for all.
but until that time, #YesAllWomen
[by brett Fish anderson, @brettfisha]
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