Nothing builds sympathy and good press for a church like being vandalized. And I’ll tell you what: The Mormon church is not only a long way from running out of money, it can scare up volunteer labor in Biblical proportions at the drop of a hat. So go ahead, morons: support the economy by buying red spray paint and seeing if you can remember how to spell “8”. The Mormons couldn’t pay for that kind of positive press.

That way they’ll be even stronger and more determined the next time you face them in the political arena. And you’ll be seen as the bad guys! Brilliant.