Washington (BWN) — Walking on water and changing water into wine just “isn’t enough”, the U.S.’s largest leper organization claimed. “Look, it’s been, like, days since He descended into Washington and we want our miracle,” NAALP spokesman Tzaraath Hansen said at a recent press conference called to raise consciousness about a large constituency waiting for a cure.

“Our Obama worship is just as worthy as anybody from Hollywood or MSNBC. Nobody is more prostrate than we are. But we can’t even get a foot in the door of the Oval Office.”

President Obama’s press secretary, Robert Gibbs, called on lepers to be patient. “Changing the levels of the oceans, raising America’s reputation from the dead, and keeping Biden’s foot out of his mouth are time-consuming miracles. President Obama will get to the lepers in their turn. Now is no time to go to pieces.”

All of this fell on deaf ears at the protest outside the White House gates where lepers carried signs such as “I Voted for Change and Got the Finger”, “I’m Not Shuffling Off Without A Cure” and “Barry: You Want a Piece of Me?”

Well, I thought that walking across the reflection pool to the inauguration stand was a nice touch.