A Bloodsucking Plague of the Skin

Your Foot

If you work full-time at a job that requires standing and wearing shoes, the foot is an absolutely nightmare to get a bite on.  There’s no other way to reach it unless you have a giant scratchy stick; you have to lift your leg up or bend over to scratch.  If you’re bitten here, be prepared to look awkward in public.

 Your Ear

The skin here is so sensitive and the ear is so tiny.  If you have short hair, a big bite will look like a giant red zit, protruding from the side your head.

 Your Armpit

As surreptitiously as you might try to scratch it, you will not be able to avoid looking a hick. Sweat + bite in a hot place is a recipe for itching. Putting deodorant on top of it probably isn’t good for it either.

Your Face

Nothing says social suicide like a swelled up tumorous mass on your face.  Be ready to answer the question “Are you okay?” with a look of annoyance and tirade against the entire race of mosquitoes.

Your Diddly Do Dads

I have never experienced this indescribably horrifying situation.  But apparently others on the Internet have.

Mosquito bite remedies include Benadryl cream, hydrocortisone cream, calamine lotion, and vinegar.  Although I would ask a medical professional before putting any of these on your diddly do dads.