<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8" standalone="yes"?><oembed><version><![CDATA[1.0]]></version><provider_name><![CDATA[]]></provider_name><provider_url><![CDATA[http://clantilyscad.com]]></provider_url><author_name><![CDATA[scandalousmuffin]]></author_name><author_url><![CDATA[https://clantilyscad.com/author/scandalousmuffin/]]></author_url><title><![CDATA[Why is everything on the news&nbsp;depressing?]]></title><type><![CDATA[link]]></type><html><![CDATA[<p>It&#8217;s either depressing news or amusing non-news.  Nothing good ever happens in the real world.</p>
<p>Speaking of<em> The Real World,</em> <a href="http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2011/08/mtv_real_world_contract.php">The Village Voice analyzes</a> the casting contract people who are on the show have to sign and interprets thusly:</p>
<blockquote><p>You may die, lose limbs, and suffer nervous breakdowns&#8230; You may be humiliated and explicitly portrayed &#8220;in a false light&#8230;&#8221;  Interacting with other cast members carries the risk of &#8220;non-consensual physical contact&#8221; and should you contract AIDS, etc. during such an interaction, MTV is not responsible&#8230; If you get kicked off the show, it will be filmed.</p></blockquote>
<p>Who wants to help me make my casting video?</p>
<p>In the news, <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/why-defense-spending-should-be-cut/2011/08/03/gIQAsRuqsI_story.html">Fareed Zakaria tells everyone </a>what they already know, except <a href="http://freakoutnation.com/2011/08/02/joe-liebermann-wants-to-cut-social-security-to-fight-islamist-extremists/">Joe Lieberman</a>, about defense spending.  The stocks and GDP take a dump, but they&#8217;re just <a href="http://www.usnews.com/news/blogs/rick-newman/2011/08/04/why-recession-fears-are-overblown">correcting themselves</a> in the foreground of the shitty economy.  And a Swedish man is arrested for trying to go CERN in his kitchen and <a href="http://www.newser.com/story/124996/man-arrested-for-trying-to-split-atoms-in-his-kitchen.html">split some atoms</a>.  Darwin award nominee?</p>
<p>I need something happy. Here is Planet of the Apes getting loose with some Benny Benassi. With glowsticks!</p>
<span class="embed-youtube" style="text-align:center; display: block;"><iframe class='youtube-player' type='text/html' width='640' height='390' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/T0cf9wwYXQs?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;fs=1&#038;autohide=2&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;wmode=transparent' allowfullscreen='true' style='border:0;'></iframe></span>
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