Seismograph picture via Steve Jurvetson

“Earthquake? No… we don’t get earthquakes like this in New Jersey. Maybe the guy mowing his lawn next door fell asleep at the wheel and rammed into my house.  Or maybe a bear is attacking my garage.”

I was right the first time.  (Although 5.9 is really unusual, even for Virginia’s Seismic Zone.) That’s how my brain work.  It thinks of something reasonable and then it retracts that and replaces it with something complicated and ridiculous.  I am glad though it wasn’t bears.

If there’s any aftershocks, I’ll be sure not to think that it’s the cubs that have returned to feast on my flesh.

Here’s how my brain works: it’s stupidity, followed by self hatred, and then further analysis.

– Louis C.K.