<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8" standalone="yes"?><oembed><version><![CDATA[1.0]]></version><provider_name><![CDATA[]]></provider_name><provider_url><![CDATA[http://clantilyscad.com]]></provider_url><author_name><![CDATA[scandalousmuffin]]></author_name><author_url><![CDATA[https://clantilyscad.com/author/scandalousmuffin/]]></author_url><title><![CDATA[Weird News Wednesday &#8211; What The Fuck&nbsp;Wednesday]]></title><type><![CDATA[link]]></type><html><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;m 10 minutes late EST.  It&#8217;s still Wednesday in California.</p>
<p>Back before I went into the 6-month blog void of personal fucked-upness, I used to do a <a href="http://clantilyscad.com/category/weird-news-wednesday/">Weird News Wednesday</a> just to give my blog some sort of structure.  I&#8217;ve decided to bring it back but with super lax rules.  Every Wednesday I will post weird news, a webcomic, a weird wikipedia article, or, if I get really lazy, simply a picture that elicits &#8220;What the fuck?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8212;-</p>
<p>I have a trifecta of weird news articles today.</p>
<p>1.</p>
<h1><a href="http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-naked-face-eating-attack-20120529,0,2974308.story">Miami face-eater is identified; cause of attack is a mystery</a></h1>
<blockquote><p>Witnesses and police <a href="http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-florida-face-attack-20120527,0,6360405.story" target="_blank">have said</a> Eugene was naked Saturday when he attacked another naked man on the MacArthur Causeway next to <a id="PRDPER000029" title="The Miami Herald" href="http://www.latimes.com/topic/arts-culture/mass-media/newspapers/the-miami-herald-PRDPER000029.topic">the Miami Herald</a> building, chewing up to 80% of the victim’s face off. A police officer commanded him to stop, and when Eugene didn’t, the officer shot him as many as six times.</p></blockquote>
<p>2.</p>
<h1><a href="http://www.northjersey.com/news/Hackensack_man_stabs_self_throws_intenstines_at_police.html">Police: Hackensack man stabbed himself and threw intestines at officers</a></h1>
<blockquote><p>Carter was in the corner of the room with a knife in his hand, and he stood up, he yelled at police while stabbing himself all over his body. Officers noticed that his intestines were protruding from a wound in his abdomen, Heinemann said. Carter allegedly threw some of his skin and intestines at officers as they tried to enter the room, Heinemann said.</p></blockquote>
<p>3.</p>
<h1><a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/story/2012/05/27/toronto-collision-iphone-theft.html">Man hits car driven by nun, has iPhone stolen</a></h1>
<blockquote><p>Police said the nun was taken to hospital as a precaution and suffered minor injuries. After the collision, the male driver attempted to call 911 on his iPhone.</p>
<p id="yui_3_4_1_2_1338436657619_36">However, the male driver was shaken up after the crash and had trouble operating the phone. A passerby offered to help him with the phone, but then ran off with the device when the driver handed it to him.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>&#8212;</p>
<p>The news is all about mentally ill people and assholes these days.</p>
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