But first…

Dave Itzkoff ‏@ditzkoff

“Tonight’s first question comes to us from a man who calls himself Violentacrez. Go ahead, Mr. Violentacrez.” #debate

Bwahahahahaha.

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Patton Oswalt ‏@pattonoswalt

OBAMASATDOWNFIRSTHELOST — inside Hannity’s brain right now.#debate

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9:05

“I want you to be able to get a job.” Yeah, so you can fire me from it.

9:15

I think Romney just admitted to not caring about birds dying.  Big Bird is crying.

Tom Junod ‏@TomJunod

Now he wants to kill Little Bird.

9:20

Once again a moderator is failing to move on.

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The New York Times op-ed, November 18, 2008:

“Let Detroit Go Bankrupt”

by Mitt Romney

^not The Onion

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9:30 

I’m so bored of talking about jobs. Go back to talking about killing birds.

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Chuck Wendig ‏@ChuckWendig

Obama starts explaining economic theory. Romney makes fart noises and monkey sounds in the background. #fakedebate

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9:39

‎”I put women in my cabinet.” ~Romney misquote

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Franklin Leonard ‏@franklinleonard

“I hired lots of women.” = “Some of my best friends are black.”

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9:51

Wow, invocation of the G.W. We should start asking: Is our children learning from this debate?

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Indecision ‏@indecision

This guy’s on fire. Hold on- how do we know it isn’t Joe Biden wearing his Obama costume a few weeks early? #debates

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Nina Bargiel ‏@slackmistress

“I CAN SEE SYRIA FROM MY INVESTMENTS!” – Mitt Romney#MocktheVote

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Alex Halperin ‏@alexhalperin

What took so long? http://bindersfullofwomen.tumblr.com/  #debates

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10:25

Now that we all understand each other, group hug?

10:27

Nothing like talk to currency manipulation to rally up the masses.

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Romney’s Binder ‏@Romneys_Binder

Mitt Romney: “I want to make America the most attractive place in the world for my binder.”

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Complete transcript:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/16/us/politics/transcript-of-the-second-presidential-debate-in-hempstead-ny.html?pagewanted=all

(Pro-tip: when you get there: Ctrl-F “gang bangers.”)