The delightful book Littlewood’s Miscellany by John Edensor Littlewood contains a snippet that will cause brain cramps if you contemplate it for very long:
It notes that in a writing competition in The Spectator magazine on the subject of what you would most like to read on opening the morning paper, the following submission won the prize:
The First Prize in the second of this year’s competitions goes to Mr. Arthur Robinson, whose witty entry was easily the best of those we received. His choice of what he would like to read on opening his paper was headed, ‘Our Second Competition’, and was as follows: “The First Prize in the second of this year’s competitions goes to Mr. Arthur Robinson, whose witty entry was easily the best of those we received. His choice of what he would like to read on opening his paper was headed ‘Our Second Competition’, but owing to paper restrictions we cannot print all of it.”