Cross stitch pattern of Chef Smurf from the Smurfs. Thanks to RadSpyro for the sprite. Download the PDF here: Chef Smurf Pattern

Grid Size: 77W x 71H
Design Area: 5.36″ x 4.93″ (75 x 69 stitches)
Colors: 8

I have a Patron, Diana Brown, who is famous for cooking tiny food. You don’t find fairies. Fairies find you, and apparently Diana’s skills have attracted a lot of fairies. So many in fact that their garden is just full of mushroom highrises. Someone’s opened an Urban Outglitters and you can find the one remaining Fae-Mart in the realm.

So I got Google Analytics, and if there’s one thing that lifts the curtain of uncomfortable privacy policies, it’s Google. I don’t know what half this stuff means, but it looks like 20.1% of you are interested in “Celebrity and Entertainment News”. Sorry to burst your bubble folks, but the only celebrities I have time for are my patrons. Sometimes I worry that if I ever meet any of you in real life and you’re not a llama milk pastry chef, I might be a little disappointed, not gonna lie.

I’m surprised to see how varied the demographics are for this site. I’ve got visitors from 18 to 44 and they’re pretty even male and female split. Oh it also says that 18-24 year old females are more likely to spend more time on each page. Yay, someone is actually reading my vapid opinions on stuff! And now that I know you’re reading, I’m getting a little self conscious about every single word. Nope, nope, the anonymity of the internet is my armor. I shall not be intimidated!

Oh, I also have a percentage of “Cooking Enthusiasts”. I’ll have to make a pattern that says, “I’d cook more if I got XP for it.”

Also, I really need to make sure I’m optimized for mobile because apparently I’m behind the times in my smartphone habits and I have vastly underestimated how much of my traffic comes from people browsing cross stitch patterns on the toilet.

Just kidding, Google doesn’t track that.

Yet.