Cross stitch pattern of the words He/Him using the colors of the trans flag. This one goes with my They/Them and She/Her patterns. Download the PDF here: He Him Pattern

Grid Size: 86W x 80H
Design Area: 6.00″ x 5.57″ (84 x 78 stitches)
Colors: 3

So my older brother came out as trans about a year ago. It came as a surprise to me since he was pretty good at faking femininity or rather maybe I was just thrown off by the extra long hair. My parents have two portraits of him wearing a big formal dress in their house, and I’m a little on edge as to when that’s going to become a problem. I don’t know, he’s told me that he doesn’t plan on editing his past in any way, that having been a girl scout or a debutante doesn’t make him less of a man, and I suppose that’s him being more adult about gender than I am. It’s just hard to know what things I should talk about now. I just don’t want to give out information in social settings that would stop him from going stealth if he wanted to. There are just so many things in my memories that are pointlessly gendered. Heck, I remember him teaching me about periods because I wasn’t comfortable asking my parents to teach me. I really have to get over this idea of things being inherently gendered, but it’s so ingrained in my mind by a culture that still won’t bother putting baby changing tables in every men’s bathroom.

This Christmas, my brother got only one present that had his deadname on it. I was the one who opened the shipping box so I switched it out before he could see it. I don’t know. He may have noticed my handwriting, but he didn’t say anything. Am I doing the right thing?