It’s about comfort and familiarity. When I first left American there was so much that I missed from home. Then a time passed by I got use to life in France. What is unexpected is that now that I am in Belgium, there are things I miss from France. #expatproblems
France doesn’t do small chit chat. This was a huge adjustment when I came over. If you go to the store in America, you talk with the cashier. If’s polite to ask how her day is going, and to ask if she has plans for the night, or the weekend.
Word to the wise: Do NOT do that in France. It has the opposite affect. It is considered rude and nosy.
One thing the French do is say “Bonjour”. This took some getting used to in the beginning. It is said in situations where you normally would talk to people, at least in America. So you’d say “Bonjour” to strangers you pass on the road, if your going into a shop, enter a waiting room, and many more.
Curious thing is in Belgium they don’t do “Bonjour” like the French. It is something I got used to doing, despite it being counter-cultural to America. My instinctual reaction the first time I said “Goedemorgen” and got a weird look was how rude. Then I realized it was just a cultural difference, and it is one I miss.
I miss knowing where to buy thing. When you move, you have to deal with finding where the stores are, but normally the brands and stores themselves don’t change. It is made so much more difficult when you life abroad because that isn’t the case.
If I wanted cheap but good shoes, for example, I could go to payless, walmart, or Giant eagle. I still haven’t figured out where to get good shoes let alone ones that don’t break the bank.
When I got married, we needed furniture. It took us 3 months, and in the end we never found it. I got tired of looking and decided to just buy IKEA because it was build-able (which is convenient with narrow stairs).
We decided that we wanted a tiny freezer and we got it at the local grocery store, because we didn’t know where else to look.
This perpetual lost feeling can be exciting in the beginning. You are discovering a new place, and it is magical. That feeling fades quickly. After a month, it is exhausting and frustrating.
Everything taste different, or is made differently. I love pumpkin. In America we make pies (sweet) and they are delicious. In Europe they make soup. Pumpkin soup is good, but it is better as a pie.
They eat rabbit, which is easy to find in stores. The only people I know who eat rabbit are hunters. When I told people I ate rabbit, I received comments like “You ate someone pet?” or “You ate the Easter bunny!”
The food is great, but sometimes I want cheddar cheese, jalapeno pepper, guacamole, bread in a loaf, cake with frosting, sweet potatoes, and grape jelly, without a struggle.
In is wonderful, when I cook something boring and simple by American standards, and can be the star of the party, for the incredible thing I brought. Other times it can be sad because it’s like my foreignness is showing.
~Side Note~ I’ve impressed many French people with baked potatoes.
Language is an annoying invention. It isn’t grammar, or vocab that is difficult. It is expression. There are phrases that you know are expressions that can’t be directly translated. “Bringing home the bacon” in french is “butter for the bread”
What is annoying is when you have a phrase and don’t know it is an expression.
Like “living in the middle of no where” would be “being lost in a corner” in french.
Or you have some that are similar but you will say it wrong which makes you look odd. Like your water doesn’t break in french. You lose your water.
Another problem can arise if you are converting words. English has uses a lot of French words. Any word with an ion at the end has it’s roots in French. So there is a good chance if you say it using French phonetics, it works. It also works that certain nouns in English work in french if you add an appropriate French ending.
Except that isn’t always the case. My host mother makes homemade preserves. In my mind I thought silent e probable french ad “atif” at the end. So I asked “Comment est-ce que tu fais tes preservatif?” Thinking I asked how do you make your preserves. Except I didn’t I asked how do you make your condoms.
These moments are always hilarious and fun, but I never have this problem in English.
I haven’t been state side for 5 years now. I will be going back home this summer. I am excited to visit my friends and family but at the same time I am nervous. I’ve heard of people being surprised by things in their own home. I think for certain things I can expect to be surprised, but I can’t wait for the things I am not expecting.
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Tot Ziens Mijn Appelsiens
~KD
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