<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8" standalone="yes"?><oembed><version><![CDATA[1.0]]></version><provider_name><![CDATA[shattersnipe: malcontent &amp; rainbows]]></provider_name><provider_url><![CDATA[https://fozmeadows.wordpress.com]]></provider_url><author_name><![CDATA[fozmeadows]]></author_name><author_url><![CDATA[https://fozmeadows.wordpress.com/author/fozmeadows/]]></author_url><title><![CDATA[In Local News]]></title><type><![CDATA[link]]></type><html><![CDATA[<p>Passing through my local second-hand parlour this weekend, I spotted three VHS tapes of the original, unadulterated <em>Star Wars</em> films &#8211; complete with original 80&#8217;s cover-art, pristine in all their seemingly unwatch&#8217;d beauty &#8211; and fell upon them with inarticulate cries of joy, punctuated here and there by feverish mumblings about nineties release-dates, pre-CGI meddling, Han Shot First and the original Ewok song. Six dollars and several minutes later, I came partially to my senses (only partially, because I still think of it as a prurient investment) and realised that we don&#8217;t have a functioning VHS player. Several meters further still, I remembered that I was, in fact, wearing my <em>Joss Whedon Is My Master Now</em> t-shirt, on account of how I&#8217;d been hosting a <em>Firefly</em> marathon. This lead me to experience a moment of disorienting guilt as to the exact nature of the Dark Side.</p>
<p>Subsequently, I would like to blame <em>Antiques Roadshow&#8217;s</em> recent 80&#8217;s-themed edition, wherein certain <em>Star Wars</em> memorabilia was valued, for my actions. Watching it, I am certain, directly contributed to my belief that paying money for VHS tapes I cannot actually play was an appropriate &#8211; nay, necessary &#8211; act, but seeing as how Google is unforthcoming as to the probable worth of said merchandise, I am currently lacking external vindication. (Rats.) </p>
<p>Also, at this afternoon&#8217;s office Christmas party, I played lawn bowls while wearing a humerous Santa hat. Photos were taken. They will be incriminating.</p>
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