he’s on the street obeying the law
no bikes on sidewalks where people roam
but this potholed lane can’t fit us all
i hit the brakes he ain’t armstrong

cars to the left of me biker to the right
i want to smash his sweaty face in with all my might
no room to maneuver there i stare
at this fat fuck’s plumbers crack in spandexwear

i’m late for work driving slower than idle
my sanity will suffer in a short while
this sidewalk policy is dumb and dumber
bike nerd needs to get off the road before i run him under

finally an opening to get around!
it’s a tight squeeze his ass is profound
i hit the gas and pass unopposed
then spew my carbon footprint right up his nose.