“The way he handles the hot girls in my office is nothing short of amazing.”

“How so?”

“Girls will go up to him and say ‘Good morning, Joe*!’, and Joe will bark back ‘You’re crazy don’t even talk to me!'” [*fake name]

“Wow. Nuclear neg.”

“If a girl says ‘Hi’ to him, he’ll say ‘Don’t kiss me, I have a girlfriend.’ If she gets too far into his personal space, he’ll scold her: ‘Don’t touch me! You’re not my girlfriend.'”

“And the girls find this charming?”

“You wouldn’t believe it. The girls are scrambling to figure out how to get this tard to like them. ‘Why doesn’t he like me?’ He’s friendly to all the guys in the office, but he gives the girls a hard time. Sometimes, when he sees one of the girls talking to another dude, he’ll go up to them and tell the girl not to touch him, he has a girlfriend.”

“Fascinating. He totally assumes the sale. And he’s an expert AMOG. Killer combo.”

“I told him once, ‘Hey man, your frame is incredible.'”

“Tard game. The next evolution in pickup. Does he actually have a girlfriend?”

“Yeah. He’s dating another tard chick.”

“I wonder what their lovemaking sounds like.”

“Probably like angry seals.”