<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8" standalone="yes"?><oembed><version><![CDATA[1.0]]></version><provider_name><![CDATA[Chateau Heartiste]]></provider_name><provider_url><![CDATA[https://heartiste.wordpress.com]]></provider_url><author_name><![CDATA[CH]]></author_name><author_url><![CDATA[https://heartiste.wordpress.com/author/roissy/]]></author_url><title><![CDATA[JavaScript Male]]></title><type><![CDATA[link]]></type><html><![CDATA[<p><a href="https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2009/05/19/be-a-skittles-man/" target="_blank">Skittles Man</a> has his antithesis: Meet JavaScript Male*.</p>
<p>Commenter Reservoir Tip writes,</p>
<blockquote><p>The female reception of <a href="https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/07/28/women-prefer-jerks-and-men-prefer-nicegirls/" target="_blank">this piece</a>, even here at CH, has been incredibly elementary.</p>
<p>I imagine the beta man-boob response is no different.</p>
<p>Reminds me of a funny story, actually.</p>
<p>Recently I was on Facebook (I know I shouldn’t have one, but Tinder) and a girl friend of mine asked via status update whether she should get a pixie cut or grow her hair out.</p>
<p>I told her, “pixie cut and I’m personally kicking your ass.”</p>
<p>To which her feminist friends and a former friend of mine turned hardcore cultural Marxist manboob replied, “omg Reservoir Tip’s opinion is stupid. Why are you even concerned about societal standards of beauty?” (LOL)</p>
<p>Then the manboob, who I assume is somewhat into the girl, posts something for the beta hall of fame.</p>
<p>“I wrote you a java script to help you figure out which style is going to work best for you” and of course, he posts the script.</p>
<p>As if she has any idea what the hell to do with it. Neutered man-booby goonery at its finest. I could practically feel his anticipation for her thanks and whatever attention she would afford him.</p>
<p>“Oh I know how to win her over! I’ll write her some java script! That’ll get her attention!”</p>
<p>“I’LL WRITE HER SOME JAVA SCRIPT!”</p>
<p>“JAVA SCRIPT”</p></blockquote>
<p><img data-attachment-id="24539" data-permalink="https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/07/31/javascript-male/fatrelle1a/" data-orig-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1a.jpg?w=325&#038;h=425" data-orig-size="438,573" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}" data-image-title="" data-image-description="" data-medium-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1a.jpg?w=325&#038;h=425?w=229" data-large-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1a.jpg?w=325&#038;h=425?w=438" class="alignnone wp-image-24539 " src="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1a.jpg?w=325&#038;h=425" alt="" width="325" height="425" srcset="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1a.jpg?w=325&amp;h=425 325w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1a.jpg?w=115&amp;h=150 115w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1a.jpg?w=229&amp;h=300 229w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1a.jpg 438w" sizes="(max-width: 325px) 100vw, 325px" /></p>
<p><img data-attachment-id="24541" data-permalink="https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/07/31/javascript-male/fatrelle1b/" data-orig-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1b.jpg?w=325&#038;h=425" data-orig-size="438,573" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}" data-image-title="" data-image-description="" data-medium-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1b.jpg?w=325&#038;h=425?w=229" data-large-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1b.jpg?w=325&#038;h=425?w=438" class="alignnone wp-image-24541" src="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1b.jpg?w=325&#038;h=425" alt="" width="325" height="425" srcset="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1b.jpg?w=325&amp;h=425 325w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1b.jpg?w=115&amp;h=150 115w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1b.jpg?w=229&amp;h=300 229w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1b.jpg 438w" sizes="(max-width: 325px) 100vw, 325px" /></p>
<p><img data-attachment-id="24542" data-permalink="https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/07/31/javascript-male/fatrelle1c/" data-orig-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1c.jpg?w=325&#038;h=425" data-orig-size="438,573" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}" data-image-title="" data-image-description="" data-medium-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1c.jpg?w=325&#038;h=425?w=229" data-large-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1c.jpg?w=325&#038;h=425?w=438" class="alignnone wp-image-24542" src="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1c.jpg?w=325&#038;h=425" alt="" width="325" height="425" srcset="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1c.jpg?w=325&amp;h=425 325w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1c.jpg?w=115&amp;h=150 115w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1c.jpg?w=229&amp;h=300 229w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1c.jpg 438w" sizes="(max-width: 325px) 100vw, 325px" /></p>
<p><img data-attachment-id="24543" data-permalink="https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/07/31/javascript-male/fatrelle1d/" data-orig-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1d.jpg?w=325&#038;h=425" data-orig-size="438,573" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}" data-image-title="" data-image-description="" data-medium-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1d.jpg?w=325&#038;h=425?w=229" data-large-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1d.jpg?w=325&#038;h=425?w=438" class="alignnone wp-image-24543" src="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1d.jpg?w=325&#038;h=425" alt="" width="325" height="425" srcset="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1d.jpg?w=325&amp;h=425 325w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1d.jpg?w=115&amp;h=150 115w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1d.jpg?w=229&amp;h=300 229w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/fatrelle1d.jpg 438w" sizes="(max-width: 325px) 100vw, 325px" /></p>
<p>*I can&#8217;t bring myself to call him JavaScript Man, because the term &#8220;man&#8221; carries positive character associations. Low T beta losers who behave in ways more typical of women and betray a lifetime spent struggling with testes nestled somewhere up near their diaphragms are best described as &#8220;male&#8221;, acknowledging the fact that they possess some rudimentary form of biological maleness, however actively it&#8217;s suppressed.</p>
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