<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8" standalone="yes"?><oembed><version><![CDATA[1.0]]></version><provider_name><![CDATA[Chateau Heartiste]]></provider_name><provider_url><![CDATA[https://heartiste.wordpress.com]]></provider_url><author_name><![CDATA[CH]]></author_name><author_url><![CDATA[https://heartiste.wordpress.com/author/roissy/]]></author_url><title><![CDATA[The Most Punchable Shitlib Face Of&nbsp;2015]]></title><type><![CDATA[link]]></type><html><![CDATA[<p>The &#8220;winner&#8221; of the <strong>2015 Punchable Shitlib Face Tournament</strong> will be the peabody puffboy who emerges victorious from the Championship Bout between <strong>Dylan Matthews</strong> and <strong>Pajamaboy</strong> (née <a href="http://www.slate.com/blogs/weigel/2013/12/19/pajama_boy_aka_ethan_krupp.html" target="_blank">Ethan (((Krupp)))</a>).</p>
<p><a href="https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2015/12/17/2015-punchable-shitlib-face-tournament-finals/" target="_blank">Matthews handily dispatched McKay Coppins</a> in the preliminary finals bout, as voters felt he had the face more likely to inspire a fusillade of knuckle sandwiches. On to the match!</p>
<p>Ladies and gentlemen&#8230;. in the far left corner&#8230;. <strong>Dyyyyyyyyyyylan Maaaaaaaattheeeeeeeeeewwwws</strong>.</p>
<p><img data-attachment-id="32224" data-permalink="https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2015/12/09/sweeps-week-2015-punchable-shitlib-face-tournament/dylanm/" data-orig-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/dylanm.jpeg?w=326&#038;h=326" data-orig-size="160,160" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}" data-image-title="" data-image-description="" data-medium-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/dylanm.jpeg?w=326&#038;h=326?w=160" data-large-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/dylanm.jpeg?w=326&#038;h=326?w=160" class="alignnone wp-image-32224" src="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/dylanm.jpeg?w=326&#038;h=326" alt="" width="326" height="326" srcset="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/dylanm.jpeg 160w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/dylanm.jpeg?w=150&amp;h=150 150w" sizes="(max-width: 326px) 100vw, 326px" /></p>
<p>And in the far, far left corner&#8230;. <strong>Paaaaaaaaaaaaajamabooooooooooooooy</strong>!</p>
<p><img data-attachment-id="20862" data-permalink="https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/12/19/pajamaboy-caption-contest/twink3/" data-orig-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/twink3.jpg?w=500&#038;h=250" data-orig-size="800,400" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="" data-image-description="" data-medium-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/twink3.jpg?w=500&#038;h=250?w=300" data-large-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/twink3.jpg?w=500&#038;h=250?w=800" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-20862" src="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/twink3.jpg?w=500&#038;h=250" alt="" width="500" height="250" srcset="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/twink3.jpg?w=500&amp;h=250 500w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/twink3.jpg?w=150&amp;h=75 150w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/twink3.jpg?w=300&amp;h=150 300w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/twink3.jpg?w=768&amp;h=384 768w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/twink3.jpg 800w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /></p>
<p><em>Matthews &#8220;leans in&#8221; to take a hit from a blood and soil patriot&#8230;.</em></p>
<p><em>Pajamaboy offers both cheeks for back-handed slaps from feminists who secretly despise his male genus&#8230;.</em></p>
<p><em>Matthews taunts the crowd, asking them if they have the stones to wipe the smug off his face&#8230;</em></p>
<p><em>Pajamaboy raises the stakes, sticking a pinky out form his mug of cocoa and wagging it at the balled fists of a phalanx of shitlord spectators&#8230;</em></p>
<p><em>Matthews does that Morpheus &#8220;bring it&#8221; hand as he brags about his high verbal IQ and miserable math skills&#8230;.</em></p>
<p><em>Pajamaboy announces he&#8217;s &#8220;strapped on&#8221; and ready to &#8220;Lamaze the poz&#8221;&#8230;<br />
</em></p>
<p><em>this is gonna go down to the wire, folks!</em></p>
<a name="pd_a_9241112"></a>
<div class="PDS_Poll" id="PDI_container9241112" style="display:inline-block;"></div>
<div id="PD_superContainer"></div>
<script type="text/javascript" charset="UTF-8" src="https://secure.polldaddy.com/p/9241112.js"></script>
<noscript><a href="https://polldaddy.com/poll/9241112">Take Our Poll</a></noscript>
]]></html><thumbnail_url><![CDATA[https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/dylanm.jpeg?fit=440%2C330]]></thumbnail_url><thumbnail_width><![CDATA[160]]></thumbnail_width><thumbnail_height><![CDATA[160]]></thumbnail_height></oembed>