14 things every fat girl absolutely needs to hear:

1. push away from the table
2. coffee, not sugary milkshake with coffee added
3. eat less, exercise better
4. weight room, not treadmill
5. fatness ruins your health and quality of life
6. your romantic life will suffer because men prefer slender women
7. if you are a white fatty, your odds of mudsharking rise
8. intermittent fasting and portion control are your friends
9. curvy doesn’t mean beach ball. it means hourglass.
10. you’ll have to put out faster to keep a man’s interest
11. even an extra five pounds makes a difference to men
12. the fatter you are, the lonelier you’ll be
13. the fatter you are, the farther down you’ll have to settle to find a man willing to stick with you
14. excuses and feminist boilerplate won’t make men hard for you

HTH, fatties!

FYI this is a response to the same femmedia-elevated fatty satirized in this CH post who is beloved by her fellow sexual market losers for “telling it like it is”. More like “scarfing it down like it is going out of style”, right, Jes Baker?

For years, Jes has worked in this sphere of reminding people— especially women— of their right to feel beautiful.

Women and poopytalk, inseparable! Explaining simple concepts to fat feminist retards loses its allure after the third iteration, but here I go again, into the breached whale. Nothing is stopping fatties from their “right” to feel beautiful, a meaningless conceit at any rate. But ginned-up Fake Feeling and reality are two distinct universes, and no matter how much a fatty exercises her right to feel beautiful and assuage her butthurt ego, that won’t change the fact that most men will deem her falling far short of beautiful. No fatty self-motivational in the world can convince men she’s hot.

My 14 pieces of fatty-smiting flair, if followed to the letter, will reunite fat chicks with genuine feelings of self-worth that no feminist happy-clappy feedgood nonsense can hope to accomplish.