<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8" standalone="yes"?><oembed><version><![CDATA[1.0]]></version><provider_name><![CDATA[Chateau Heartiste]]></provider_name><provider_url><![CDATA[https://heartiste.wordpress.com]]></provider_url><author_name><![CDATA[CH]]></author_name><author_url><![CDATA[https://heartiste.wordpress.com/author/roissy/]]></author_url><title><![CDATA[The Smotherhand]]></title><type><![CDATA[link]]></type><html><![CDATA[<p>The opposite of the Hoverhand and the Chopstick Grip is the Smotherhand. It also goes by the name <a href="https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/02/05/the-opposite-of-hoverhand-hineyhand/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Hineyhand</a>.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m not very familiar with the cast of Maul-Right characters, but this dude is supposedly Based Stickman, caught on camera claiming ownership of two tradthots by laying hands on their asses.</p>
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<p>&mdash; MicroGramps™ (@MicroMystery) <a href="https://twitter.com/MicroMystery/status/962412046175305729?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 10, 2018</a></p></blockquote>
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<p>Tweet deleted! Here&#8217;s a zoomed-in thumbnail as backup:</p>
<p><img data-attachment-id="106851" data-permalink="https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2018/02/14/the-smotherhand/smotherhand/" data-orig-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/02/smotherhand.png?w=422&#038;h=225" data-orig-size="212,113" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}" data-image-title="smotherhand" data-image-description="" data-medium-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/02/smotherhand.png?w=422&#038;h=225?w=212" data-large-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/02/smotherhand.png?w=422&#038;h=225?w=212" class="alignnone wp-image-106851" src="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/02/smotherhand.png?w=422&#038;h=225" alt="" width="422" height="225" srcset="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/02/smotherhand.png 212w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/02/smotherhand.png?w=150&amp;h=80 150w" sizes="(max-width: 422px) 100vw, 422px" /></p>
<p>A felony record and a waifu at home apparently fine with his road trip meet-ups? Hands firmly palming ass ledges? That&#8217;s just the jerkboy magic tradthots can&#8217;t resist!</p>
<p>Speaking of ass ledges and impudent palmistry, here&#8217;s what the official hand placement guide says about Based Jerkboy&#8217;s status with these two tradminxes:</p>
<p><img data-attachment-id="16704" data-permalink="https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/02/05/the-opposite-of-hoverhand-hineyhand/hand/" data-orig-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/hand.jpg?w=500&#038;h=1022" data-orig-size="609,1245" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="hand" data-image-description="" data-medium-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/hand.jpg?w=500&#038;h=1022?w=147" data-large-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/hand.jpg?w=500&#038;h=1022?w=501" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-16704" src="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/hand.jpg?w=500&#038;h=1022" alt="" width="500" height="1022" srcset="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/hand.jpg?w=500&amp;h=1022 500w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/hand.jpg?w=73&amp;h=150 73w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/hand.jpg?w=147&amp;h=300 147w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/hand.jpg 609w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /></p>
<p>Officially flirting, and scandalously close to assuming boyfriend privileges. Wew I knew there was something between those three!</p>
<p>PS You&#8217;ll never catch <a href="https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2016/01/14/guess-who-doesnt-hoverhand/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">this God Emperor</a> hoverhanding. <a href="https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2016/11/14/the-opposite-of-hoverhand/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Never</a>.</p>
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