*cracks knuckles*

Leaning in, kung fu grip of +100 mate guarding, forehead cuddling PDA.

Verdict: beta body language

Assessment: trouble brewing

This power couple is Martin Sellner and Brittany Pettibone, renowned figures in the It’s Self-Evidently Awesome to be White revolution. Sellner fronts a European “Identitaire” group, but don’t hold me to that. I don’t follow these things closely.

Does their pose remind you of anyone?

I know there’s a post in the CH archives about cheekpecker guy above, but I can’t be bothered to search for it. Anyhow, I remember the romance did not end well for him (nor did it start well for him).

The lean-in with goopy canoodling is the international symbol of anxious betatude. All men should strive to avoid it, especially when cameras are pointed at them.

A few readers have objected to Sellner’s skinny fit purple pants, green sneakers, and man purse (excuse me, European handbag). That’s not much of a hit against him, tbh. It’s classic peacocking, and it works if paired with a confident jerkboy attitude. His bigger problem is that his body language betrays an Inner Niceguy. If Brittany’s ardor wanes, it won’t be because of his floodwater purple jeans.

To his credit, Sellner does strike a legit contrapposto pose, the ideal Davidian stance that girls love across time and space.

Why do I tease Brittany? Because she’s totes adorb, and it’s what I do with adorable girls. I can’t help it, it’s in my mischievous DNA. (Sellner may be adorable, but I wouldn’t know. All men are ugly to me.) I mean no disrespek to the Movement Minxes. I wish these two the best, but Manpurse is gonna have to step up his body language game if he wants to heave Brittany the bone. Call it tough love.

Martin, less of what you’re doing in that snap above, and more of this:

You’ll thank me later.