<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8" standalone="yes"?><oembed><version><![CDATA[1.0]]></version><provider_name><![CDATA[Chateau Heartiste]]></provider_name><provider_url><![CDATA[https://heartiste.wordpress.com]]></provider_url><author_name><![CDATA[CH]]></author_name><author_url><![CDATA[https://heartiste.wordpress.com/author/roissy/]]></author_url><title><![CDATA[Finger Guns Game]]></title><type><![CDATA[link]]></type><html><![CDATA[<p class="p1"><span class="s1">I had just left the outdoor bar where I was daydrinking with friends. The early evening sun was glowing and there was a pep in my step. I wasn&#8217;t drunk, but I had happyhead. It&#8217;s that space between sober and drunk, where I still had my wits but I was feeling more upbeat and garrulous than usual.</span></p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">On my walk home, I finger gunned every cute girl I passed. Theatrically, with an audible <i>tchh</i> and a wink. There were a lot of cute girls walking about, so my finger guns were chewing through rounds. As best I can recall through my happy fog, every girl smiled, and a few commented sassily. One girl, a petite fatale heading in the direction of the barrel of my finger gun, grinned and sassed, &#8220;Do I look like target practice to you?&#8221;</span></p>
<p>I waited until we had merged into a delirious close quarters friction on the sidewalk, before back-sassing, &#8220;Do you want to be?&#8221; while blowing out the smoke curling from the ends of my finger guns and holstering them with Old West pizzazz.</p>
<p>She laughed and said she would but she&#8217;s a &#8220;taken cowgirl&#8221;, and we parted for our respective sunsets. No worries, my happyhead was still airborne. A girl&#8217;s &#8220;rejection&#8221; is much easier to absorb when she delivers it with a warm smile and sparkle eyes, letting you know with her expressionist regret that under a separate timeline the odds would have been ever in your favor.</p>
<p>Recollecting that day, and the innumerable sex positive reactions I received from girls at the business end of my finger guns, I wondered why I didn&#8217;t unholster those bad boys more often. It clearly worked to put the ladies in an approachable mood. And I&#8217;ve done it once or twice, unthinkingly, while on <a href="https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2017/09/25/the-walk-of-triumph/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">walks of triumph</a>. Finger Guns Game has enormous potential as an opener gambit.</p>
<p>Maybe I&#8217;ve avoided it because it&#8217;s silly. It feels silly. It looks silly. But, chicks dig the silly. The man of stoic resolve who can indulge silliness demonstrates that he isn&#8217;t harmed by the indulgence. He has stoic resolution to spare, and that&#8217;s what chicks subconsciously notice, to their everlasting tingles.</p>
<p><img data-attachment-id="120714" data-permalink="https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2018/04/24/finger-guns-game/trumpshovel/" data-orig-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/trumpshovel.jpeg?w=500&#038;h=333" data-orig-size="1024,683" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}" data-image-title="trumpshovel" data-image-description="" data-medium-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/trumpshovel.jpeg?w=500&#038;h=333?w=300" data-large-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/trumpshovel.jpeg?w=500&#038;h=333?w=1024" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-120714" src="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/trumpshovel.jpeg?w=500&#038;h=333" alt="" width="500" height="333" srcset="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/trumpshovel.jpeg?w=500&amp;h=333 500w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/trumpshovel.jpeg?w=1000&amp;h=666 1000w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/trumpshovel.jpeg?w=150&amp;h=100 150w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/trumpshovel.jpeg?w=300&amp;h=200 300w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/trumpshovel.jpeg?w=768&amp;h=512 768w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /></p>
<p><img data-attachment-id="120716" data-permalink="https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2018/04/24/finger-guns-game/trumpshovel2/" data-orig-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/trumpshovel2.jpeg?w=500&#038;h=428" data-orig-size="683,585" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}" data-image-title="trumpshovel2" data-image-description="" data-medium-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/trumpshovel2.jpeg?w=500&#038;h=428?w=300" data-large-file="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/trumpshovel2.jpeg?w=500&#038;h=428?w=683" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-120716" src="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/trumpshovel2.jpeg?w=500&#038;h=428" alt="" width="500" height="428" srcset="https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/trumpshovel2.jpeg?w=500&amp;h=428 500w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/trumpshovel2.jpeg?w=150&amp;h=128 150w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/trumpshovel2.jpeg?w=300&amp;h=257 300w, https://heartiste.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/trumpshovel2.jpeg 683w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /></p>
<p>Unaltered photos. lostcausemonaut quips,</p>
<blockquote><p>tfw girth <em>and</em> rigidity</p></blockquote>
<p>Grandma got something on her mind! First pic&#8230;a gentle fingertip caress of the frenulum. Second pic&#8230;the grip of uncompromising resolve, ushering <em>la petite mort</em>.</p>
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