<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8" standalone="yes"?><oembed><version><![CDATA[1.0]]></version><provider_name><![CDATA[Jumped The Snark]]></provider_name><provider_url><![CDATA[http://jumpedthesnark.com]]></provider_url><author_name><![CDATA[skeim01]]></author_name><author_url><![CDATA[https://jumpedthesnark.com/author/skeim01/]]></author_url><title><![CDATA[Reege Returns!  No One Gets&nbsp;Hurt!]]></title><type><![CDATA[link]]></type><html><![CDATA[<p>TV might as well have been broken from December 1 to January 4th, because without Regis it was just about dead to me.  But after his month-long absence following <a href="http://jumpedthesnark.com/2009/11/24/the-regis-philbin-wave-of-mutilation-continues/" target="_blank">hip surgery</a> the king of mid-morning made his triumphant return to <em>Live!,</em> to the tune of the Rocky theme no less.  They might have his replaced his hip, but let&#8217;s hope they didn&#8217;t fix <a href="http://jumpedthesnark.com/2009/11/18/reege-no-longer-just-a-danger-to-himself-nearly-gives-meryl-streep-heart-attack/" target="_blank">his eyes</a> or brain or make him self-aware.  Because a sensible, alert, calm, inside-voice Regis is no Regis at all.  Unless he&#8217;s dangerously unhinged, it&#8217;s not Reege.</p>
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<p>You can replace hips.  You can replace hearts.  But you can&#8217;t replace crazy.</p>
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