The nice thing about the Domino’s is that they don’t Jew you on the pepperoni.

– Michael Ian Black,  Mike and Tom Eat Snacks, Episode  32

Let’s celebrate the New Year with breaking down Jewish stereotypes. Yes, we like challah bread and matzoh ball soup and potato kugel and bagels. And, yes, we run Hollywood. And, yes, we make dynamite plastic surgeons. And, yes, we like to get to the movie theater extra-early to make sure that we get a good seat. We are all these things. HOWEVER, not all of us are cheap, parsimonious bastards who will Jew you out of every possible penny. In fact, sometimes – as Jon Benjamin and David Cross illustrate – we’ll even Jew you up.

So dip the apples in the honey! (we will not, because we are allergic to apple, and thus will never have a sweet new year. It will be one unbroken string of bitter misery)