But, I have, other members of my family who are, relying on me, to be strong, so, I’d, forced my own sorrows into lock-down. Allowing myself to grieve for the loss of you, I can’t, there’s no way possible, for me to do so, because after you’d gone, whenever my nose gets red, everybody would zoom in on me, and start asking me if I was okay, and I know, that they’re doing it out of care and concern, but sometimes, I just, wish, that the spotlight can get taken off of me…

not my photograph…

So, I cried, in the nights, when everybody else is asleep already, and nobody can hear me weep over the loss of you. Allowing myself to grieve over the loss of you, I know it’s not healthy, to keep everything like it’s a-okay, but, I need to put up this strong front, for everybody else, as everyone looks to me, as a pillar of strength, and, if I cracked or fell, then, they would all, crumble to pieces too, and that, would be dire!

Allowing myself to grieve over the loss of you, I finally found the time to, last year, I went on my vacation alone, and on that vacation, I’d cried, endlessly, all day long, and for once, I didn’t give a SHIT if anybody looks at me weird, because I’d needed to, unload all these burdens I’d carried, for the past year or so………

not my photo still…