This morning, I spent several hours on Midwest Airlines aircraft on my journey from Boston to Michigan, during which time I flipped through the complimentary SkyMall catalog provided in my seat pocket — it’s like Sears Roebuck for the 12st century! The sheer randomness and bizarreness of the SkyMall catalog never fails to delight. Here are a few of my favorite from this particular edition.

This young man clearly paused halfway through the conversion to cyberman for a senior-year style photoshoot.

While this item is being sold as a back massager, it is clearly a highly complex sex toy designed for a wild night of orgiastic delight.

This isn’t exactly hilarious, but since I’m taking a class right now on collective memory, and we’ve talked some about how both Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy have figured in national collective memory over time, I found it interesting that these four images have been selected and placed side by side.

For all of you (I know you are out there!) who worry about unslightly white feet during the summer — worry no more! Thanks to SkyMall, you can order your very own foot-sized tanning bed to make sure your feet are sandle-ready all summer long. (Doesn’t it look like the person’s feet are being melted off in the bottom picture? or is it just me?)

And finally, the creme-de-la-creme . . .

There’s really so much wrong with this particular product that I can’t even begin to do it justice here . . . but let me just point out that I love how the perceived options here are a) a fake, removable ass or b) a fake, surgically-created ass. Not just, you know, your bum au naturale.

Cheerio kiddos; I’ll be checkin’ in as time permits! Now it’s off to cuddle on my parents’ couch with cocoa, cat, and my weekly reading for Collective Memory before the early morning catches up with me.