<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8" standalone="yes"?><oembed><version><![CDATA[1.0]]></version><provider_name><![CDATA[the feminist librarian]]></provider_name><provider_url><![CDATA[http://thefeministlibrarian.com]]></provider_url><author_name><![CDATA[Anna Clutterbuck-Cook]]></author_name><author_url><![CDATA[https://thefeministlibrarian.com/author/feministlib/]]></author_url><title><![CDATA[&#8216;the act of marriage&#8217;: ch. 11 (aka &quot;children fulfill the psychic design of your&nbsp;mind&quot;)]]></title><type><![CDATA[link]]></type><html><![CDATA[<div class="separator" style="clear:both;text-align:center;"><a href="http://ia600809.us.archive.org/zipview.php?zip=/14/items/olcovers638/olcovers638-L.zip&amp;file=6381086-L.jpg" style="clear:left;float:left;margin-bottom:1em;margin-right:1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://ia600809.us.archive.org/zipview.php?zip=/14/items/olcovers638/olcovers638-L.zip&amp;file=6381086-L.jpg" width="119" /></a></div>
<p><i>See also: <a href="http://annajcook.blogspot.com/2012/05/live-blogging-act-of-marriage-part.html">intro</a>, <a href="http://annajcook.blogspot.com/2012/05/act-of-marriage-ch-1-sanctity-of-sex.html">ch 1</a>, <a href="http://annajcook.blogspot.com/2012/05/act-of-marriage-ch-2-and-3-his-and-hers.html">ch 2-3</a>, <a href="http://annajcook.blogspot.com/2012/05/act-of-marriage-ch-4-and-5-how-to-do-it.html">ch 4-5</a>,<a href="http://annajcook.blogspot.com/2012/05/act-of-marriage-restricted-access-care.html"> ch 6-7</a>, <a href="http://annajcook.blogspot.com/2012/05/act-of-marriage-ch-8-10-when-things-go.html">ch 8-10</a></i>.</p>
<p>If I had to pick the number-one aspect of <i>The Act of Marriage</i> that situated it in the 1970s, it would be the LaHaye&#8217;s attitude toward birth control and abortion. Namely, that they&#8217;re not categorically opposed to either. Let me reiterate: <b>The best-selling protestant Christian evangelical sex manual of the 1970s was not anti-abortion or anti-birth control</b>, even hormonal birth control (aka &#8220;The Pill&#8221;) which today has so many fundies up in arms.</p>
<p>Tomorrow, I&#8217;m going to be posting, verbatim, the passage in which <i>The Act of Marriage </i>takes up the question of abortion. I think it deserves its own post because there&#8217;s so much interesting stuff going on <i>vis a vis</i> contemporary abortion politics within it. But for now, we&#8217;re going to take a brief look at chapter eleven, &#8220;Sane Family Planning,&#8221; which deals exclusively with pre-conception solutions for controlling pregnancy while sexually active.</p>
<p><b>&#8220;Almost all Christians today seem to believe in limiting the size of their families&#8221; (185)</b></p>
<p>The LaHayes start out with the observation that, given the number of years the average woman is fertile, the vast majority of Christian couples are self-evidently practicing some sort of family planning strategy. And they do not disapprove &#8212; nor do they believe God disapproves. The distinction they make is not between contraception vs. no contraception, but rather between parenting and not-parenting. &#8220;Christian couples should, if at all possible, have children, they assert&#8221; (183). Intention here <i>matters</i>. If one is delaying childbearing, or spacing out children, or deciding that [ideal number] of children is the limit of persons your family resources can provide for, then this is an acceptable (&#8220;sane&#8221;?) orientation toward parenting.</p>
<p><b>What&#8217;s <i>not</i> acceptable? Deciding that your ideal number of children = 0.* </b>Because &#8220;the chief enemy of personal happiness is self-interest&#8221; (185) I&#8217;ve honestly never understood how realizing you don&#8217;t have the resources (material, emotional, or otherwise) to be a good-enough parent is the <i>selfish</i> route while having little ones because they are &#8220;a tangible expression of your [marital love]&#8221; or because &#8220;children fulfill the psychic design of your mind&#8221; (I shit you not!) is the <i>unselfish </i>way to go (183-85). But apparently that&#8217;s the truth of things, and who am I to argue with God?**</p>
<p>I lose MAJOR lady-spouse points for this (I figure double &#8217;cause I&#8217;m getting hitched to someone who&#8217;s completely comfortable with the non-parenting state of affairs. More so than I am, actually. So, you know, <i>clearly</i> I went the way of satanic and self-centered temptation there.</p>
<p>What can I say. She has a <i>really </i>great ass.</p>
<p><b>IN SUM: Adequate Lady-Spouse Metric Returns!</b></p>
<p><b>-20 &#8211;&gt; for coming to the conclusion that the answer to the question &#8220;how many children does God want me to have?&#8221; is &#8220;Zero&#8221; and</b><br /><b>-20 &#8211;&gt; for getting myself hitched to a partner who believes this even more strongly than I</b><br /><b>-20 &#8211;&gt; plus the whole &#8220;two eggs can&#8217;t make a baby&#8221; thing, which is surely a strike against us</b><br /><b>+15 &#8211;&gt; still, I do agree that human being are a pretty awesome &#8220;gift of eternal creativity&#8221;</b><br /><b>+10 &#8211;&gt; and that even couples wanting to create babies should have access to family planning tools</b></p>
<p><b>Chapter 11: <span style="color:red;">-35</span></b></p>
<p>Chapters 8-10: 0 (n/a)<br />Chapters 6-7: <span style="color:red;">-62</span><br />Chapters 4-5: +30<br />Chapters 2-3:<span style="color:red;"> -33</span><br />Chapter 1: <span style="color:red;">-50</span></p>
<p><b>Cumulative ALSM Score: <span style="color:red;">-150</span></b></p>
<hr />
<p>* Maths people! What would the equation for that look like &#8230; &#8220;solve for X if  x &gt; 1&#8221;?</p>
<p>**<a href="http://www.nationalmemo.com/motherhood-is-work-but-its-also-a-choice/">See also</a>.</p>
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