(Click to enlarge. Image from Just Jared.)

Let’s play spot the number of designer items on Cristiano Ronaldo’s body.

Cap: D&G (?)

Sunglasses: Gucci

Manbag: Louis Vuitton (Iker Casillas, avert your eyes.)

Belt: Gucci

Sneakers: Gucci

Watch: not my area of expertise, but looks expensive

Bracelet: Sergio Ramos Balance Xtreme

Pants: The Too Short Pants Company, sister company of The Too Tight Shirts Company (actually I have no idea)

Underwear: Armani (sadly, I can only assume)

And he’s carrying bags from Armani (don’t they give him stuff for free?) and Gucci.

Oh Cristiano, you say you’re not going to talk about your baby and you wish for him to have privacy, but can we at least see how you dress him?  Please?  ¿Por favor?